Letters to a Bride

{Sweet Winter Dreams}

2011-12-21T06:23:00.004-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I will be taking a "winter sabbatical" from my weekly postings on this Letters To A Bride blog! I'm down to the last stage of my new book's rewrite and need to focus my attention there so it will be ready for release in the spring!

In the meantime, enjoy the archives here -- lots to choose from: stories of wedding history and folklore, ideas for aromatherapy and flowers, relaxation tips, bridal mythology that may surprise you, influences of royal brides, and more! And come see me at my upcoming book's companion blog, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride.

I'll keep you posted with the new book and any news that I think you just might want to hear about! For now, enjoy your sweet winter dreams....and go explore some luscious quiet time.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photographs: Daniel Sheenan]

ps: And if you need the perfect gift of the heart for you or another bride-to-be, remember that my current book (and an Amazon best seller!), The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, is a sweet reminder of the intimacy and feminine delight of a woman's bridal rite-of-passage. Whatever you do, be sure to celebrate You everyday...!

{The Wish-Fulfilling Tree & the Princess Bride}

2011-12-14T06:08:00.004-05:00

Dear Bride-To-Be:
Did you ever read the book or see the film, The Princess Bride? I thought you'd enjoy a post on my "End of the Fairy-Tale Bride" blog that shares the deeper meanings that this fairy tale presents. Sharing the ancient story of the magical "wish-fulfilling tree," it's a reminder that when we trust the messages of our inner spirit -- our intuitive wisdom -- then our heart's desire comes true. (And it may be different from what your mind imagined!)

When you're a bride, your woman's intuition is highly enhanced -- so use it! It's like having your very own "wish- fulfilling tree. (Take some deep breaths, look within and listen.) Trust your heart's intuitive lead and you'll be able to see beyond any limitations....

Click here to read the charming mythology of The Princess Bride. (Enjoy its reminder to look a little deeper at things, people, situations...there is always more than what meets the eye! And be ready to be enchanted.)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride is also the name of my upcoming book...due for release next spring. Stay tuned for more news!

{Attending a Bride}

2011-12-07T12:10:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
In preparing for my upcoming book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride (about surprising ways Princess Diana exposed romantic myths that women still hold on to), I read how Elizabeth and David Emanuel, co-designers of her famously sumptuous royal wedding gown, developed a strong bond with Diana. They became personal confidantes in addition to her main wardrobe advisors.

In my experience working with thousands of brides in my former bridal art-to-wear shop in Atlanta in the 1980s and 90s, I understand how that happens—and how special it can be for the bride-to-be! Here’s an excerpt from my book (to be released next year) that shares about this uniquely feminine and intimate relationship:

For my customers, the gown fittings at my shop gave the bride a chance to “cocoon” a bit; escape into the dreamy, feminine world of silks and laces and be the center of attention. She could tell her story to a rapt audience of designers and costume advisors as well as hear my folklore tales of wedding history. In this secluded haven, the bride could be away from the more mundane decisions in her regular world, and receive counseling and reassurance while freely expressing herself with this new comforting and attentive community of women.

My intention was for the bride’s fittings to be nurturing and self-reflecting experiences; an occasion for the bride-to-be to stand in the midst of her rite-of-passage and “find herself”—becoming more centered and grounded as she learned about her bridal legacy. And in so doing, be reminded that during all the wedding hoopla, the key was to keep her attention on her relationships: her relationship with her heart, with her family, with her partner, and

what they were building together.

I hope that as a bride you have a chance to enjoy your own “royal” version of escaping into the dreamy, feminine world of silks and laces and be the center of attention. Look for relationships with wedding professionals that nurture and honor you. Be sure that you are lovingly attended to. And have people around that will gently remind you what’s at the heart of the relationship you and your partner are building together. That’s what being attended to is all about!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Bottom Photograph: Jason Hudson]

[Stay tuned for news of the release of my new book: THE END OF THE FAIRY-TALE BRIDE: Princess Diana’s Legacy Reframed {Shattering the Princess Myth & Freeing the Damsel in Distress}]

{Be Quiet With Yourself}

2011-11-30T11:50:00.001-05:00

Dear Bride-To-Be:

The Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran told the world about a hundred years ago that “your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.” Now I know there is a lot of hustle ’n bustle around planning a wedding, and oddly enough, it doesn’t always include the language of the heart. Sometimes the pressure builds and harsh words are spoken. So perhaps if you included more “silence” as the poet says, words of love become the main language!

Conversations With God author Neale Donald Walsch advises us to cultivate the ability to listen to and learn the language of your heart...and let there be quiet:

Listen to your heart. Practice it. Produce it. Perfect it. It is not that difficult. Just be quiet with yourself. And for heaven’s sake, stop listening to your mind. You will not find the truth there. You may find the answer, but it will not be the truth unless it coincides with the answer in your heart.

You think there is more to know about life than this, but there is not. Your heart holds the key. Your heart holds the wisdom. Your heart holds the future. Your mind knows nothing but the past. It imagines the future will be just like yesterday, so it makes it decisions based on that. Only your heart can see beyond memory’s horizon.

Take a deep breath and breathe in and out of your heart until you hear the silence. (The practice can be fun...and it’s worth every quiet, productive, heart-full moment.) Then go and have a beautiful, full-of-love wedding and life...with time to be quiet with yourself.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: The Nichols]

{A Grateful Heart}

2011-11-23T09:44:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Do you think that abundance is limited ... that good fortune skips a day in your life? Wise spiritual guides tell us that what we might consider as lack of abundance or a misfortune is actually an opportunity to open our hearts even wider ... a reminder to be thankful for what we do have. It seems blessings come a’calling to a grateful heart!

Over two thousand years ago, the Roman philosopher Cicero said “a grateful heart is the greatest virtue.” We receive gifts each day that we may not recognize as gifts, but anytime we express appreciation for the experience we’ve been given—no matter what it is—then our hearts open that much more.

Keep your heart available for love in abundant proportions . . . and abundance is yours. Remember that it’s a generous dose of gratitude that returns you to the virtue and “fortunes” of love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Sarah Merians Photography]

{Easy Does It}

2011-11-16T08:15:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
On your wedding day, set aside a bit of “just for you” meditative time to relax, center yourself and get grounded . . . a moment to simply melt into your heart. For help in relaxing, you can listen to soft music, gently stretch your body, read a favorite love poem, or do a soothing deep-breathing exercise. (Or a combination of all of them!)

As you relax during your little “wedding day reverie,” let go of any noisy thoughts and allow the world to get quieter so you can hear your inner voice. What messages are you hearing? Whatever comes up, just breathe love into it.

Easy does it. As you continue to enjoy your reverie moments, take more deep, slow, soft breaths and relax more deeply and allow your body to remember that sweet moment of “falling in love.” Breathe in the feeling so you can recreate it fresh and new—and take that feeling with you throughout the day. Share it with friends, family, strangers.

Like love, weddings are about inclusion. Be the goddess of love today!

Love, listen, let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

{Relax & Go Have a Glorious Day}

2011-11-09T06:07:00.008-05:00

Dear Bride-To-Be:
There is a wise Chinese proverb that says: “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”

Wherever you are in your wedding planning process—just thinking about it, in the middle of making lists, only a few days away from your wedding—it’s probably a busy time for you! Yet it doesn’t have to be tense; you don’t have to be tense. So take a deep...slow...easy breath and just relax. Although it may seem at odds with how you feel since being tense has become the new “normal” in our hectic world, but be a bold trailblazer! Shine some light in all the frenzy and change your default setting to “relax.”

I know, I know. In our busy noisy world, we have made relaxation “hard”—but you can make it easy and lusciously refreshing for yourself. One way is to simply sit alone quietly for a few minutes in a peaceful spot ... slowly, softly, deeply breathing in and breathing out. Paying attention to your breathing is a chance to quiet your busy mind and allow your body to be at rest. This little practice would be a gift of ease and heart-opening softness for yourself ... even if it’s only five minutes of quiet solitude a day. (It will make a difference in how you feel, how you look and how you see the world.) Do this for yourself and by doing something relaxing for yourself, you’re doing it for everyone around you.

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” So be your authentically beautiful self and slow down, breathe deeply and relax. Then go have a glorious day.

Love. Listen. Let go.

....with love from Cornelia

[Photographs: Josie Miner]

{Tying the Knot}

2011-11-02T21:31:00.001-04:00

Imagine doing this ceremony with your beloved: you are standing face to face; you feel the cording on your skin as it connects the two of you together; your hands become entwined; you are drawn even closer as you look into the eyes of your beloved, that intimate moment of looking into the "mirror of your soul" through another.

This is the purpose of all ancient wedding rituals: to create an intimacy of connection for the couple; to connect hearts for a lifetime. And the wisdom of the Celtic love knot ceremony takes it even deeper: entwining the heart of your relationship for inner-growth and self-discovery ... and the experience of practicing unending love together. Relationships don't always last, but the love that brings people together can indeed be everlasting with a little bit of practice.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photographs: April Groom]

{Wedding Memories & Dr. Seuss}

2011-10-26T06:03:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-To-Be:
You never know what your wedding guests will take away from your wedding. Of course, you're planning a ceremony of the heart for your rite-of-passage into marriage; an event filled with love and reverence and all you hold dear. And when you do that, your guests also take away something deeply moving and life changing for them as well!

Here is what author and counselor Arielle Ford wrote about being at her niece's recent wedding:

We just returned from Dallas where we attended the wedding of our niece Sarah and her beloved, Mark. It was a beautiful garden affair, at sunset, with a brass quartet and a very enthusiastic, loving and gracious minister.
The bride was stunning, the groom beaming, and one of the highlights of the ceremony for me was a recital of Sarah's all-time favorite Dr. Seuss poem that expressed the depth and the whimsy of the happy couple:

I will love you in the park, and I will love you in the dark.

I will love you through good or bad,

When you're happy and when your sad.

I will love you when you're rich or when you're poor and in a ditch

And I will have and I will hold,

Ten years from now a thousand fold.

And now we're here at this new start,

So I'll start by loving you with my whole heart.

Whatever poetic readings you choose for your wedding -- from Dr. Seuss to Shakespeare -- be sure you include your "whole heart" in all of your wedding plans so everyone involved gets to share the love!

Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Ian Grant]

{The Princess Bride & Her Tiara}

2011-10-19T07:50:00.002-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Tiaras have been associated with brides since ancient Rome with their classical, elegant style. And “by the early 1300s a jeweled crown for a bride was a symbol of the marital state” of aristocratic women, according to Carol McD. Wallace in her book, All Dressed in White. Following Princess Elizabeth’s wedding in 1947—the future queen of England—being a “princess bride” became the fashion and tiaras, of course, were the headpiece of choice even for “everyday” brides.

Although Diana Spencer wore an exquisite family heirloom tiara for her royal wedding in 1981, the bridal fashion for tiaras didn’t catch on again until the late 90s. By the time Princess Diana’s daughter-in-law, the lovely Kate Middleton, became a bride in the spring of this year— wearing a borrowed diadem from the queen’s family collection—tiaras had been back in vogue for years. Something about that “princess bride” sensibility had captured the fancy of the times and went deep into the hearts of many brides.

Whether you wear a diamond, paste or glass tiara; or a wreath of fresh flowers or just one fragrant rose tucked behind your ear; whether you wear a jeweled ornament, or a crown of vintage wax orange blossoms, or no headpiece at all when you are a bride; you wear a regal legacy!

Love. Listen. Let go.

....with love from Cornelia

ps: If you’d like to read more about princess brides and tiaras, click here to read a reprint of my article Tiaras and the Real Princesses.

{Bridal Gown as Art}

2011-10-12T10:36:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-To-Be:
Most brides put lots of attention on finding or creating the dress to wear for their wedding. Wearing it makes them feel beautiful...even looking at it makes them feel special!

Since the wedding dress takes such a beloved place in the hearts of brides, there are several ways to be sure that it remains special. And even have it be a work of art to enjoy long after the wedding ends.

Here are some creative ideas by wonderful artists:

Fashion illustrator Anne Underwood can create a lovely pencil, ink & pastel drawing of you in your wedding dress (from your favorite photograph.)

Photographer Dorothy O'Connor re-creates a wedding gown into a beautiful still-life image.

And if you want to preserve your gown yourself, click here for tips from assistant museum curator, Steven Rosengard.

After your wedding is complete -- settling back into your "un-bride" routine as well as adjusting to married life -- can be just as busy as the time planning your wedding. So before you let that lovely gown languish for too long on the back of a chair somewhere, be sure to have it cleaned and put away -- and perhaps even create a precious piece of art out of your memories.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

{Choices of Your Heart}

2011-10-05T07:40:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:

“Wearing a wedding gown is so weird,” a bride was quoted in The Bride Revealed, a book by photographer Leslie Barton. “It’s not like any other dress. I felt so grown-up and elegant in it. At the same time, it felt like a costume. Even during my wedding, when I saw my reflection, I was startled. ‘Who is that?’ It’s such an important transformation, from the usual jeans and T-shirt to a formal wedding gown. I felt it strengthened the commitment, that what I said on this day would be with me for the rest of my life.”

This bride reveals something that you might soon find out for yourself. That your wedding gown, and all the other rituals you use for your wedding—the music, flowers, exchange of rings, even your vows—are all outward expressions of your inner self. They are a reflection of what you hold in your heart and meant to, as this bride said, “strengthen your commitment” to all you hold dear.

And you thought your wedding dress was only to make you look like a dream! It’s not only a “transformation from jeans to formal gown,” but also a transformation of your heart—deepening your commitment to your best self. Make the things you choose for your wedding, choices of your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.

....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Leslie Barton]

{Thank You!}

2011-09-28T07:42:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
There simply cannot be too many thank-yous spoken in the world. (Nor too many hearts full of love!) Many people assisted you in getting to your wedding day...keep the generosity and gratitude going. Say “thank you” to the first and last person you see today—and everyone in-between—and really mean it.

Notice how a little from-the-heart “thank you” lights people up. In fact, make it your job to light people up today. “Thank you!”—it feels great. And you’re the one who just might get the biggest reward.

“Gratitude is what returns us to love,” writer Lisa Clapier reminds us, and love is abundantly endless. You won’t run out—just keep giving it away!

Have your wedding be remembered for the gifts everyone else takes home—your love and gratitude.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Brian Wagner]

{Time Is Breath}

2011-09-21T10:14:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Planning a wedding is a busy time – whether you’re doing it all by yourself or in partnership with your mother, sister, friends or fiancé. Everything gets amplified during wedding planning; your to-do list keeps growing and there just never seems to be enough time!

So do you want to know the secret to having more time? Slow down and breathe!

The more stressed you are, the tighter your body gets, the more shallow your breathing becomes – and it appears that there is not enough space or time. And the tension cycle continues! So the pleasure of planning your wedding suffers – and perhaps some of your relationships suffer as well – and your overall health and happiness pay a heavy price.

There are lots of great tips out there from relaxation experts and meditation gurus to help you learn how to slow down, be more attentive and take deeper, fuller, longer more relaxing – even healing – breaths. (See a suggestion below.) But right this moment, as you’re reading, do this:
Inhale through your nose slowly, deeply, softly, gently – and hold; what do you notice? Release your breath, exhaling through your nose slowly, deeply, softly, gently – and hold; what do you notice?

As you go about your day, keep noticing your breath and if you feel you’re holding it when you’re tense or taking shallow breaths, do the little exercise. Just by putting attention on your breath, you’ll take deeper ones – which also takes better care of you.

Then just notice if your relationship to time has changed – and even if it seems you have more of it! (Breath and time!)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: “Time is breath” is a quote from Russian teacher G.I. Gurdjieff as cited by Dennis Lewis in his wonderful book Free Your Breath, Free Your Life. Thanks to Dennis for inspiring this post!

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Heart-Full of Rituals}

2011-09-14T07:48:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
What’s a wedding without some sort of ceremony, and what’s a ceremony without a ritual or two, and what’s a ritual without a bit of mystery? The rituals of wedding ceremonies—such as exchanging rings, repeating vows, dressing in special clothes, sharing a big cake—are all intended as outer expressions of your inner transformation. Subtle changes that are close to your heart. Rituals act as guideposts on this rather mysterious transformational journey called being a bride, this womanly rite-of-passage.

In my book, The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, I share the most feminine of wedding rituals that are inspired by the charming wedding rhyme: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a sixpence for your shoe. Don’t miss connecting with other women with these essentially “being a woman” rituals and gestures that hold a bit of that feminine mystery.

What rituals are you using for your wedding? Give them special attention like wise gifts from the past and see how their magic goes deep into your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Priscilla Wannamaker]

{True Love-Knots}

2011-09-07T06:23:00.002-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Here’s a romantic “something blue” idea! Make a “Love Knot Bow” to wear pinned to your wedding day lingerie out of narrow blue ribbons: tiny loops with knotted streamers called “true-love knots.” There is an ancient legend that the Danish phrase meaning “I plight thee my troth”—used in early wedding vows—was the origin of the expression “true-love knots.” As far as legends go, one might say that “true love” is untying all the knots to your lover’s heart!

And just a little reminder. If your love is indeed true, then it comes with a heart full of forgiveness. Love can get “tangled” at times, but as wise voices tell us: When we learn how to forgive, then we learn how to love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: this is an excerpt from my book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself.

[Photograph: Lacour Photography]

{Veiled in Mystery}

2011-08-31T06:51:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:

What has come to be known as a “bridal veil” in European-American heritage has its own unique story, borrowing the best from both Eastern and Western cultures. From Eastern tradition, you inherit a sense of being veiled as capturing a meditative space for your own private reverie. The Western lineage of the veil takes inspiration from the prestige and grandeur of past traditions from the royal courts. Together they create an elegant heritage and a pensive beauty for today's brides.

Whether you are aware of this legacy, or whether you wear a bridal veil or not, you are stepping into the past touched by women of the ages, offering a bit of themselves to your life. Open your heart and let that womanly support of strength and mystery in!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Kimberly Sayre & Shannon Stellmacher for Shannon Stellmacher Photography]

{Listen to Your Heart}

2011-08-24T09:59:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
When the busy-bustle of wedding planning spins you away from yourself and you’re feeling a bit frazzled, what do you do to ease back into your heart center? It’s important to take a quiet moment to listen to your heart each day. Close your eyes and take a few deep, soft breaths...long, slow inhales and exhales...and listen in. What’s the message you hear?

Slow down, be patient. Listen deep into the stillness so the message can get through. (Fine-tune your heart channel!) Listen for what soothes and supports your best self. Allow yourself to let love in from all directions and from all of life’s voices. When you find the quiet inside, you realize you’re not alone . . . your inner spirit is always there to guide and nurture you.

However, it’s not always easy to find that quiet moment of relaxation and contemplation in your day or evening. Yet your spirit and well-being calls for it! Take a walk in the park, in the woods, down the street, along a lane, beside a lake. Go sit by a tree or in a corner . . . or at least somewhere by yourself for a few moments of quiet each day. (Even a closet will do!) And listen for love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by Priscilla Wannamaker]

{Pocket-Full of Love}

2011-08-17T07:03:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Are you planning to have a “sixpence in your shoe” or perhaps a “penny in your pocket” on your wedding day? Or maybe, like a lot of practical modern brides who like to follow some of the quaint old customs, you will tuck a lucky coin of some sort into your wedding purse!

History tells us that the first coins date back almost 3000 years, used by people who live in the area now known as Turkey. So if you use an old or new coin of any origin, you’re bringing a long lineage of riches and abundance into your wedding day from around the world!

But whether you use an old or new coin—or a dime or a franc—as your bridal token of abundance, remember that it’s only a “token.” True abundance is a full heart of love that you give away unconditionally and receive completely.

Now, that’s a pocket-full of riches!

Love. Listen. Let go.
... with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Your Fabled Dress}

2011-08-10T07:47:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
There is a great deal of romance and juicy energy around the fabled “wedding dress.” These costumes with a past have become mythical creatures, described as “gowns of ritual” by historian Carol McD. Wallace in her book All Dressed in White. Wedding dresses—whether you wear something old or something new—connect women in an echoing sisterly heritage.

Share with a girlfriend or aunt or your seamstress or any woman in your life how wearing your wedding dress makes/made you feel. Soak in feeling feminine and luscious and gorgeous in your own eyes. Enjoy “playing dress-up” in your princess gown and take that womanliness into “regular life” so you can draw from that delight—especially on one of those “frumpy” feeling days!

Slow down during your wedding planning time and wedding day. Savor it. Breathe deeply and easily into your heart center and just hang out there for a bit. And in this soft and sweet place, remember the “feeling beautiful” feeling and carry it with you no matter what you are wearing.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by Sarah Merians and Company]

{Remembrances}

2011-08-03T07:55:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Last week marked a pivotal anniversary in the world of weddings. The 29th of July would have been the 30th anniversary of Diana Spencer and Prince Charles' legendary wedding. Even if you were unaware, couldn't care less, or not born at the time -- that wedding, and its shimmering bride, changed your world right this moment and altered how women looked at being a bride ever since.

If you want a little background history, check in to one of my other blogs that is the companion to my upcoming book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride: How Diana Exposed the Princess Myth for All Women. In honor of the anniversary that galvanized a very dull wedding industry thirty years ago, I began posting excerpts from my book's prologue that describe the glittering event and its impact on the world. (The descriptions of the wedding day itself are coming up in the next few posts.) Enjoy!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

{Let's Talk About Those Strapless Dresses!}

2011-07-27T11:04:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
One of the things I liked about the recent royal wedding (and there were many features I adored) was that the lovely Kate Middleton did not wear a strapless dress! Now, before you get your noses out of joint, all you strapless gown lovers, hear me out!

I wrote a long article years ago offering some tips with things a bride could do and/or remember so she looked fabulous all day or evening for her wedding when wearing a strapless style gown—if I couldn’t talk her out of wearing one! I realized that when it came to selecting one’s wedding gown, it was hard not to get carried away with some starry-eyed, romantic notions that sometime blur a bride’s vision. For instance, when you’re trying on dresses, you’re not always thinking about practical considerations, like how it will “move” on you (or not move on you); or how revealing it is (the good, the bad, and the unflattering).

Therefore, if you want to get some friendly “360 degrees” (a view you can’t see yourself—even in a three-way mirror!) of advice on wearing a strapless dress because you may not know how to move in one (trust me, it’s different from other styles!) ... or you may not realize some things not to do so you can always look graceful and beautiful—you just may want to read the article, Consider Not Wearing a Strapless Dress, Unless... (Because sometimes a more informed bride is a more beautiful bride!)

So ladies—let’s talk about those strapless dresses!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photographs: Jason Hudson]

{Celebrating YOU Every Day}

2011-07-20T09:55:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I’ve interviewed hundreds of women through the years with questions about their wedding (or weddings.) Some of them were brides only a few months before and for others it had been decades. Women usually remember the moment they first saw themselves in their wedding gown. Some recall that it was like seeing a cherished, intimate part of themselves seldom shared with anyone.

Wedding dresses can evoke deeply personal, interlinking stories as women wistfully describe details of the design of the dress or how wearing it made them feel. “Every woman should see herself looking uniquely breathtaking, in something tailored to celebrate her body,” Susan Jane Gilman exclaims in her entertaining book, Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress.

There is something extra feminine about being a bride that you don’t want to miss ... a chance to explore a sense of outer and inner beauty, tenderness and strength, and a nurturing spirit. These wedding planning times are precious moments that invite you to celebrate your womanliness. And you don’t have to wait for your wedding day, or stop doing it on your wedding day, or even have a wedding day for such a celebration! You can celebrate you every day—body and spirit.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Wedding Guest of Honor}

2011-07-13T10:23:00.002-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Weddings are undeniably about relationships—the relationship of the bride and groom, the couple with their family and friends, the relationship between the two families coming together—even including the bride’s relationship with her special dress.
This is a unique relationship, intriguing to artists and scholars alike, that has been written about over and over through the years. The connection of a bride to her gown is at times poignant, wistful, intimate, joyful—and many times one that can get a bit over-the-top!

California wedding photographer Leslie Barton remarked: “It seems to me the gown is really the guest of honor. It is treated with a delicacy and respect that few humans experience.”

A gentle reminder, dear bride: Love your dress; treasure how it makes you feel, even feel like a princess; celebrate your day; honor your heritage; and treat all of your wedding guests as the “guest of honor”! You’ll feel even more beautiful....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photographs: top, Josie Miner and bottom, Jason Hudson]

{Celebrities, Wedding Gowns & You}

2011-07-06T08:42:00.004-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
There was a lot of attention on celebrity weddings this past weekend and the custom-made couture gowns the brides wore.

The marriage of super model Kate Moss -- wearing a shimmering, slim, sleeveless, rhinestone-covered gown -- brought friends, family and lots of famous folks to Southrop, England for the ceremony. Her John Galliano created, floor-length (and rather sheer) dress was accessorized by a vintage-style lace veil worn over her long, loose wavy hair.

Then there was the beautiful former Olympic swimmer, Charlene Wittstock, who became a princess when she married Prince Albert II in fabled Monaco wearing a stunning off-the-shoulder Armani gown "cut from 130 metres of duchesse silk and studded with 40,000 crystals." The bride wore her blonde hair pulled back, sleek and held in place with dazzling diamonds.

You may be wearing something less grand for your wedding, but no less special. Your gown may be borrowed from a friend, it may be re-designed from your mother's gown or something designed just for you, or it may be your brand-new, off-the-rack dream dress! And it may not even be a dress. You may be wearing silky pants, a suit, a vintage kimono, or blue jeans!

Whatever you wear, wear it with a big celebrity smile! Wear it and feel like a princess! Wear it and open your heart and put your attention on how beautiful everyone else looks looking at you!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

{Five-Minutes to Ease}

2011-06-29T09:07:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-be:
Yes, you’ve heard me say over and over how important it is to have a little quiet reverie in your day during your busy wedding planning time. And you’ve said, “I want to, but just don’t have the time!”

Okay, try this. And don’t add it to your “to do” list—a list that’s much too long anyway! And don’t think of it as “something else to do,” but more like a luscious gift to give yourself. Just say: “I’m taking care of myself inside and out today!” (And did you know that when you are more relaxed and centered, you are also more creative and loving?)

Start now...it only takes five minutes, or less. YOU deserve it!

Sitting quietly with your eyes closed and breathing through your nose, count each deep, slow inhale (one) and long, soft exhale (two), inhale (three), exhale (four); continue slowly until you get to thirty. And if you lose count, just start over at number one. (Like planning your wedding, it’s not a race to the finish line; it’s a journey to enjoy as you explore your true heart’s desire....which tends to show up inside that inner quiet.)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photo: Cheryl Wiles of arisit i]

{Less is More}

2011-06-22T04:45:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
There are more and more eco-friendly ideas available to inspire “eco-chic” weddings: using recyclable materials, organic flowers, reusable decorations. Here’s a twist. Your “something borrowed” could mean using flowers from a friend’s backyard, linens from an aunt for the reception, serving utensils and vases from neighbors. “Be a champion of recycling,” Emily Elizabeth Anderson prompts us in her book, Eco-Chic Weddings.

Also, be sure that your reception venue is equipped with ways to recycle anything that fits the category...and then has the man-power to handle the follow through.

It’s easy to let weddings get a bit over-the-top, but there is a growing awareness—once again—that less is more. “Borrowing” thoughtful values from simpler times . . . it just feels good, don’t you think?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

{Divine Connections}

2011-06-15T07:33:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
The color blue, long considered a "bridal" color, has divine connections. Blue is the color associated with Mary, mother of Jesus, and with Brigit, the Celtic goddess of healing and the arts. Brigit, called the maiden goddess of springtime, was also known as Bride -- who gave her name to a woman about to wed. Therefore, as a bride, you are the namesake of a legendary goddess!

Use your time well in this legendary bridal spotlight. Start or continue practices that take care of you...mind, body and spirit. Journaling, eating healthy foods, doing fun exercises, breathing slower and deeper, meditating each day. This helps keep your mind clear, your body vibrant, and your heart open to receive and give love. It's just naturally what a goddess would do!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Priscilla Wannamaker]

{Take a Deep Breath & Choose with Love}

2011-06-01T06:58:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Be patient with yourself during this busy wedding planning time. Sooooo many decisions to make--don't let frustration take over. Trust your intuition and keep your vision on the bigger picture--your well-being and your relationship--and allow the love and support you find there be a buoy for you. What you need will show up at the perfect time.

Here's a tip: Use the power of your breath and take a thoughtful pause before making a decision. Breathe deeply and slowly (inhaling and exhaling through your nose when you can). Let your breath settle you, and in that quiet space, pause. Inside that pause is the here and now...the present moment...a gift...all you need to know...the perfect you. Now, choose with love. (And see what a pleasure your choices become!)

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by: Brandon Bannon]

{Your Wedding Crown}

2011-05-25T06:18:00.002-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Even if your wedding gown is new, it has roots in the past. Today’s bridal “ball gown” styles borrow from thousands of years of fashion design. So you may be wearing a style of gown inspired from something worn by a queen or empress or even a goddess.

Feeling “regal” as a bride is part of your natural inheritance. No wonder that tiaras—elegance borrowed from another time—remain a favorite bridal headpiece today. Throughout history, there have been wedding ceremonies that “crown” the bride and groom, like in the Russian or Greek Orthodox services, symbolizing the “royal” blessings of their wedding day. Undeniably, your wedding costume brings out a bit of princess fantasy—like a little girl playing “dress up”—and combines it with something grown-up and royal like the beautiful goddess you are!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Laurie Lambrecht]

{Does This Path Have a Heart?}

2011-05-18T08:55:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be: This may sound a bit strange to say, but when you're planning your wedding, remember it's all about the love! Yes, there's the dress and the cake and the band and the flowers and the shoes and the vows and the list goes on. There are scads of "things" to be included and make decisions about.

But remember, that's only the "stuff" -- the trappings of the wedding. It's easy to get so caught up with the "things" that you lose your connection to your relationship, your family, your friends -- your focus on the love that brought all of this together. And a wedding that's been planned without the open heart of inclusion is a wedding where intimacy is missing.

“Weddings are increasingly notable for their amazing lack of intimacy, their evolution into industry,” NPR commentator Jacki Lyden stated in her story, “Spectacle of Matrimony,” leading up the wedding of Chelsea Clinton in the summer of 2010. Speaking about weddings in our celebrity-driven, appearance crazed culture, she explained how “they’ve evolved into must-haves and appointment-list mega-spectacles.”

But Chelsea's wedding -- a large, celebrity-list affair -- as well as the recent wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton -- an even larger, celebrity-list and royal affair -- were intimate, deeply personal expressions of love and relationship. Grand and regal, yes; however, you could feel the love and intimacy, the sense of relatedness, and the open-hearted connections throughout the celebration.

So it's not about the size of the wedding; we see that large weddings can be intimate and tender. It's all about you opening your heart (to everyone) and have your love come first in all the decisions you make. Keep this quote at your wedding planning fingertips: "Look at every path closely … then ask yourself one question: Does this path have a heart?"

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Top Photograph: Genevieve de Manio]

{Set the World on Fire}

2011-05-11T06:27:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-To-Be:
The words of a wedding -- whether from ancient texts, or poetic literature, or something composed by you and your partner -- can set the pace for not only a moving and tender ceremony, but also for a marriage of deep commitment and love.

This is how the Lord Bishop of London opened his address last month at the wedding of Prince William and Catherine Elizabeth Middleton. Quoting St. Catherine of Siena, he shared: Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire. Then added that "marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves."

Choose words for your wedding that call forth your "deepest and truest" self; that remind you each day to "seek to bring one another into fuller life;" and that "move you toward your partner in love" in every moment, no matter the circumstances.

You don't have to have your wedding in a thousand year-old cathedral to stir your soul or "set the world on fire." But a start for such passion is to choose words that show you are "committed to the way of generous love."

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Read the entire text of the Right Reverend Richard Chartres' message posted on my blog, End of the Fairy-Tale Bride.]

{Language of Flowers}

2011-05-04T10:35:00.009-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
One of my favorite parts of the recent beautiful royal wedding of Prince William and Catherine Elizabeth Middleton was the couple's choice of "organic and local" themed flowers and other botanical features inside the Abbey -- all with a romantic and old-fashioned touch as well.

With a nod to the Language of Flowers, Kate selected a small bouquet design (a "shield-shaped" wired confection) of mixed delicate white and cream flowers and greenery. The flowers were chosen for their meaning and significance to both families:

~ Lily-of-the-valley signifies a return to happiness.
~ Hyacinth means constancy of love.
~ Sweet William stands for gallantry (and, of course, was added to celebrate the groom!)
~ Ivy is for fidelity.
~ Myrtle is also a Victorian symbol for fidelity as well as having close connections to goddess mythology. Kate's sprigs came from the "royal myrtles" at Fulham Palace in London, grown from cuttings from the wedding bouquet of Queen Victoria, William's great-great-great grandmother.

"In a sense, every wedding is a 'royal' wedding," the Lord Bishop of London declared to the world in Westminster Abbey at the grand, yet deeply personal wedding ceremony. So as a bride, wherever your wedding, not only are you regal and "royal," but you can use the precious and intimate language of flowers that was dear to a future queen on her wedding day.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

{Royal Bouquets}

2011-04-27T06:17:00.003-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
There is always a bit of mystery surrounding a wedding, yes? What's her dress going to look like? What are the bridesmaids wearing? What flowers did the bride select for her bouquet? All these choices are part of the magic of the ritual of "ceremony." Maybe you're at a stage in your wedding planning that all these decisions are still a mystery!

I've been amazed that as much media attention on the upcoming royal wedding as there is, that Kate has been able to keep as many things secret as she has! Although we don't know (unless you're reading this "after" the wedding) the flowers she's selected for her bouquet (the experts say they'll be white & creamy), but there's one thing that's not a mystery about her bridal bouquet.

Add caption

All royal British brides (or brides who have married British royalty) since Queen Victoria's wedding have included a sprig of the folkloric shrub myrtle. And not just a sprig from any ole myrtle bush, but from the "royal myrtles" at Fulham Palace gardens. There are four famous bushes at the east end of the palace, facing the gardens, that grew from cuttings, as the story goes, from Victoria's own bouquet! And all royal bouquets of British brides since -- including the lovely Kate's -- have included a sprig or two of the royal myrtles.

The fragrant Myrtus communis -- with its petite waxy green leaves and delicate creamy white "eye lash" blossoms -- has a mythological history. The tender perennial is associated with both the Greek goddess Aphrodite and the Roman goddess Venus -- the goddesses of love, beauty and laughter. Through the ages, this legendary botanical has symbolized love and desire, marriage and fidelity, good luck and abundance.

Although you may not be able to have a sprig of myrtle from royal bushes growing in a palace garden, but your bouquet deserves a bit of mythological magic! So include a sprig of myrtle in your bouquet and become a legendary bride!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

ps: You can read more about the "royal myrtles" in a reprint of an article I wrote, "The Legend of the Royal Myrtles." I posted it on a blog page at my new upcoming books' companion blog, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride. Enjoy!

[Bridal Photograph: David Willems]

{Springtime & Weddings}

2011-04-20T08:36:00.022-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Springtime and weddings have been a perfect combination for centuries. In fact, the word "bride" comes from the nickname for the Celtic Great Goddess Brigit, who was also known as Bride, the Maiden Goddess of Spring.

Like Springtime and its flowers, brides through the ages have been representative of "life's renewal" and "hope for the continuity of life." So brides and flowers have also been a perfect match...and a feminine expression of intimacy and beauty.

What flowers are you carrying for your wedding? What do they symbolize for you?

With the approaching royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton in the news (and one that perhaps will become the most famous Springtime wedding in history), I'm reminded of other royal wedding bouquets.

For her winter wedding in 1840 wedding, Queen Victoria carried a nosegay of snowdrops, her beloved bridegroom's favorite. Prince William's grandmother, the current queen, carried three types of British-grown orchids in her wedding bouquet in 1947 when she was still Princess Elizabeth. Grace Kelly, from movie-princess to real princess, selected lilies-of-the-valley for her bridal bouquet in 1956 for her wedding in the tiny country of Monaco to Prince Ranier. When she became a princess bride, Lady Diana Spencer carried a large spray of mixed cream and yellow flowers, each chosen to honor English and royal traditions.

Whatever the season you've selected for your wedding, enjoy the lightness and brightness of Spring wherever you are this moment...and bring that abundance into your wedding day.

Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

ps: What flowers will Catherine Elizabeth Middleton carry in her wedding bouquet? Tune in next Wednesday to learn of a treasured royal botanical tradition that she will continue as a princess-to-be bride.

[Photograph: Princess Diana and Prince Charles, circa 1981]

{Listening for Stillness}

2011-04-13T08:36:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Yes, you O Beautiful, Busy Bride! Take a few minutes each day to listen for stillness to help ease away stress and keep your inner voice tuned to your joy channel! If it’s your pattern to stay revved up, spinning into a busy swirl—thinking that you don’t have time to relax because there is so much to do—then you actually may accomplish more if you took at least one three-minute quiet break during your day. Work Efficiency Experts that know about these things declare: Slow down and accomplish more!

Here’s a little exercise you can do as often as possible to help slow down and relax:

•    Find a quiet, comfy place where you won’t be interrupted. (And if you can’t do that, just sit in your desk chair.)
•    Sit with your spine as straight as possible and close your eyes.
•    Put attention on your breaths—if possible, breathing through your nose for more relaxation—and slow each breath down so that you feel your belly gently rise with each deeeeep, slow inhale and fall with each sloooow, soft exhale.(Inhale, 1-2-3-4. Pause. Exhale, 1-2-3-4-5.)
•    Keep doing this until you feel yourself relaxing. Drop your shoulders, relax your jaw, stretch your fingers and toes as you continue keeping your attention on each breath.
•    And listen. Listen for the stillness inside each breath. Listen for the stillness inside your heart. Listen for the stillness deep in your body.

And as you listen within, what you just might hear is how deliciously sweet stillness sounds when you’re not focusing on your busy mind chatter. As you breathe slowly and deeply, listening within, you realize the messages of your joy channel are just a breath away!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Priscilla Wannamaker]

{The Intimate Wedding}

2011-04-06T10:46:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
A lot has been written about how intimacy is missing at weddings these days. In a special feature titled, "The Spectacle of Matrimony," Jacki Lyden of NPR News described it this way: "Weddings are increasingly notable for their amazing lack of intimacy, their evolution into industry....they've evolved into must-haves and appointment-list mega-spectacles."

Okay. I know that planning a wedding is a busy-busy time: growing to-do lists, details to handle and then handle again. You want your wedding to be beautiful -- you want to be beautiful -- so, of course, you put attention on your dress and hair, the flowers and food, the photographs and favors...the special trappings of a wedding that we all love.

But sometimes "relationship" gets left out. That can sound like an oxymoron given that why people are getting married in the first place is about, well, relationship! Brides can get so caught up in the frenetic swirl of "planning" the wedding, that sometimes not only do they get lost, but their connection to their partner gets lost -- or at least a bit strained -- and intimacy is squeezed out.

So no wonder that intimacy is missing at the wedding ceremony if it goes missing in your connection to your partner and family -- the real heart of the matter of weddings, yes?

Slow down, take a deeeeep breath, relax, feel into your heart, listen to its message, and recalibrate your priorities. (Those details can wait for awhile!) Then go give some love pats to family and friends and that sweetie of yours! (They've missed you.)

Love. Listen. Let go.....
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb]

{Be a 'Royal' Couple}

2011-03-30T10:01:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Of course most of the world knows about the upcoming royal wedding. I enjoyed reading how Prince William and Kate Middleton have set up a "Charitable Gift Fund" as a way to share the abundance of their day with various charities that are dear to the couple.

Which lead me to think about "regular couples" (well, at least not royal) and the whole notion of engagement and wedding presents in our materialistic culture. We're all aware how commercial weddings have become with so much focus on appearances, "gift registries," and a planning-by-formula mindset. And we've all experienced how this can diminish the intimacy of the wedding celebration.

The background of giving wedding gifts was a way for family and friends to support a young couple to have some essentials to begin their life together. Now I understand modern couples may need similar support and "things" to set up housekeeping...and I'm not suggesting that you cancel your gift registry!

But taking a lead from William and Kate (even though your income level may not be linked to the riches of the British monarchy) perhaps consider some kind of "charitable gift fund" of your own. Like suggesting, if someone is so inclined, to donate to your favorite charity in lieu of sending a gift to you.

Now isn't that what love's all about?

Love. Listen. Let go....
...with love from Cornelia

ps: You may enjoy my new blog...a companion to my upcoming book: The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride: How Princess Diana Exposed the 'Princess Myth' for All Women

{Surrendering to Abundance}

2011-03-23T07:06:00.020-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
One of my favorite human beings, the late mythologist and historian Joseph Campbell, wrote a great deal about relationship and marriage. He said: "When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship." In the same spirit, Oprah Winrey wrote: "Real marriage is the sacrificing of your ego, not for the other person, but for the relationship."

It seems many people think of "sacrifice" as meaning "scarcity" or a sense of "lack," but these quotes remind us of the "abundance" of sacrifice in relationship. It's about "letting go" or "surrendering" your ego, not to a person, but to the magic and possibility of what the intimate unity of two people can build. Enhancing the individual, enhancing the couple...creating abundance!

"Surrender" is another word that is easy to miss its "abundant" connotations. In her book, Now and Forever: Advice for a Strong Marriage, author Toni Sciarra Poynter writes:

There is a wonderful intimacy in surrendering to each other's strengths, tapping one another's unique wisdom. Become learners again. Honor each other with the attentive openness of the student.

Hmmm. Maybe there is something to learn about letting go of one's ego that is central to having a happy, supportive, "abundant" relationship!

Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Ian Grant]

{Something Positive & Wonderful}

2011-03-16T06:15:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
“The alarm clock rings, your eyes pop open, and you’re immediately off to the races, filled with anticipatory dread about the day’s myriad tasks,” writes Jon Spayde in his article “Reduce Stress with a Calming Morning Ritual.” This is not only a stressful way to start the day, but according to Dr. Judith Orloff, it is a “missed opportunity” as well.

“The biggest barrier to serenity in the morning is in your own head: It’s how you frame the day,” Dr. Orloff says. And Jon adds: “But if you can do some simple reframing as soon as you wake up, the morning can be a great time to carve out some calm space and time for yourself, and set yourself up for a more peaceful and productive day.”

Dr. Orloff, author of Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, recommends a simple three minute meditation as a morning ritual:

“You simply breathe, center, and focus on something positive and wonderful. Do it for only three minutes — because limiting it teaches you to find emotional calm quickly.”

(This is Dr. Orloff’s “wake up” meditation, but I think it’s great any time of day—like when you feel the tension ratcheting up! And it’s even a great exercise to do right before bed to relax and ease into a restful night’s sleep.)

Jon suggests this addition that I love: “Placing your hand over your heart during the meditation can add an additional element of warmth and self-soothing.”

And here are some tips that I add: Be sure your breaths are slow, deep and full. (Still can’t find your center?) Keep your eyes closed, listen for the quiet in your breath, and smile. Then the something “positive and wonderful” could be how more peaceful and efficient your day goes after this calming start.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb]

{Letting Go of Perfection}

2011-03-09T04:09:00.001-05:00

A wise teacher wrote: “Our lives become beautiful not because they are perfect. Our lives become beautiful because we put our heart into what we’re doing.” Planning your wedding is the same. The look of your wedding, its design and decoration, the music choices, the decisions about your gown and what the bridal party will wear—all the trappings of the wedding—are enhanced by and become truly beautiful when your heart is open and generous, and you make choices from that heart-full place!

Let go of “perfection.” Let go of burdensome expectations set up by outside influences: wedding industry hype (your wedding is not the most important day of your life, it’s the beginning of a bold adventure); let go of what you think your family or friends want of you (underneath it all, what they really want is for you to be happy); let go of whatever you made up about “perfection” (either there is no such thing, or everything is perfect—you choose!)

Look inside, open your heart, feel the love you’re finding there ... and fill your wedding with the love you discover and it will be the most beautiful imagined. This is the perfect gift to yourself … and to all those you hold dear.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]

{Natural & Tender Does It}

2011-03-02T07:23:00.056-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Don’t be a “stinky” bride! Many people are sensitive to strong scents and commercial perfumes made with solvents and petroleum products. So during this blog series, “brides, weddings & aromatherapy,” when I’ve been talking about fragrances and scents, I am not suggesting the use of those types of artificial products.

But most people are not allergic to “natural aromas.” So be thoughtful, light and natural in your fragrance choices used for your wedding celebration....from the perfume that you wear to the candles used at the reception.

Aromatherapy—the use of essences of aromatic plants and flowers—is an art that puts us in touch with the subtle and delicate aspects of Mother Nature and in so doing, teaches us to be tender with each other. What a beautiful wedding gift to offer the world in need of a little more tenderness. In fact, your wedding is a gift to all the guests present...allow its essence to be a naturally fragrant way to share the love!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: This completes the series “brides, weddings & aromatherapy” ... (It began with the post on November 3, 2010 if you want to check the archives for fragrant and relaxing tips and inspirations.) Stay tuned for an exciting announcement in the post next Wednesday!

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

{Refresh Head & Toes!}

2011-02-23T06:44:00.007-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Every bride wants to be beautiful "from her head to her toes" on her wedding day, yes? And a more relaxed bride is a more beautiful bride! So how about adding ways to be relaxed and refreshed "all over" to your beauty regimen?

One/Head: Create a facial sauna—an easy fragrant beauty treatment to do at home. Aromatherapy consultant Valerie Ann Worwood instructs:

• All you need is a bowl of very hot water and a towel. Put two drops of an essential oil blend—like lemon and fennel or lavender and neroli—onto the surface of the hot water and cover your head and the bowl with the towel for a couple of minutes at a time and let the scented steam do its magic!
• Repeat the process as long as the water stays steamy to deeply cleanse and improve the texture of your skin.

Two/Toes: What a difference a refreshing foot-soak can make to ease a tired day. Aromatherapy consultant and massage therapist Joanne Falke offers this suggestion:

• Dissolve 1/2 cup of Epsom Salt in a pan of cool water (enough to cover your feet completely); add two drops of peppermint essential oil and swish around. Pop those feet in and take at least 15-20 minutes to soak and relax…..and be energized!

Taking care of YOU all over—from your head to your toes—is taking care of your mind, body and spirit. Don't leave anything out...take care of your body during your busy schedule and your spirit will be refreshed as well. Then go be a beautiful bride!

Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

ps: this post is part of the "aromatherapy, brides & weddings" series...enjoy!

[Photograph: Little Winter Bride]

{Flowery Romantic Legends}

2011-02-16T07:15:00.003-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Have you ever—while walking in the woods or strolling in a garden—reached down to pick a flower and instinctively tucked it behind your ear? It's just a naturally feminine thing to do!

In fact, a woman wearing flowers in her hair is simply a feminine birthright, inspiring poetry, paintings and dreams of fantasy—creating romantic legends. And brides have continued this tradition for as long as stories have been around to recount the tales.

I always encourage a bride to wear something in her hair—whether it is a piece of jewelry, fresh flowers, a tiara or designer headpiece—because it draws attention to her eyes and highlights the feminine mystique of it all! (That's part of the enchantment of being a bride, yes?)

If you choose to wear fresh flowers in your hair as a bride, you'll be walking in the footsteps of thousands of beautiful goddess-like women. And if you choose to wear fragrant fresh flowers on your wedding day—roses, gardenias, jasmine—the fragrance can carry you into your own legendary remembrance....(and someone just may want to paint your portrait!)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: the series on "aromatherapy, weddings & brides" continues throughout February!

[Photograph: LaCour]

{Aromatherapy Wisdom}

2011-02-09T08:33:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Your time of being a bride should be a dreamy time filled with love! However, if you're doing most of the wedding planning and organizing yourself, it can get a bit stressful, yes? So how can you have the best of all worlds: Stay “full of love, ease and creativity” while planning a wedding from your heart....?

Here are bits of aromatherapy wisdom to get your creative juices flowing:

•     “Lightly spritz wedding invitations and love letters with tea rose or jasmine…it helps send love around the world.”

•     “Put a few drops of essential oil on an unscented dryer sheet with your bed linens…lavender pillowcases call sweet dreams close….love follows the scent of rose. Choose either fragrance for a dreamy rest.”

•     “Add a couple of drops of relaxing lavender essential oil onto a practical (washable) white linen handkerchief to carry on your wedding day. Then as you dab at tears (his or yours), the scent brings sweet calm.”

Be an “aromatherapy-wise” bride and enjoy your fragrantly creative planning time and wedding day! (Check here for more aromatic ideas....)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: the “aromatherapy, weddings & brides” series continues through February...enjoy!

[Photograph: Ian Grant]

{Loving Attention}

2011-02-02T07:02:00.014-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
In preparation for a bride’s wedding—and in honor of her rite-of-passage—women in cultures throughout antiquity gave the bride a ritual bath in water mixed with fragrant, essential oils. The custom of “perfuming the bride with the essence of flowers” continues in parts of the world today.

Be a “goddess bride”—create a pre-nuptial ritual bath for yourself. On your own, or—for a deeply nurturing experience—invite girlfriends to bath you in aromatic herbs, candlelight, and sisterly love...tenderly caring for and attending you.

Allowing yourself such loving attention can be an inner and outer “cleansing”—sloughing off hurt feelings and old notions that don’t serve your best self. This kind of meditative sweetness could set the pace for a lifetime of deeply supportive and nurturing relationships.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

[This series on “aromatherapy, weddings & brides” continues through the month of February...new post each Wednesday.]

{Ease the Stress}

2011-01-26T11:01:00.001-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Getting a headache from stress or tiredness during your busy wedding planning time? Aromatherapy consultants suggest that you place a few drops of peppermint essential oil on your fingertips and gently massage it in at the base of your neck for a bit of relief.

Here are a few other exercise suggestions...establish little practices during the day to assist the body in “letting go.” Perhaps you can indeed be tension and headache free!

•     Do gentle neck rolls throughout the day.

•     Roll your shoulders back three times, then forward three times.

•     Close your eyes and slowly rotate your eyeballs 360 degrees to the right, then to the left, relieving the eyes from that hard focus most of us do when we’re concentrating.

•     Practice soft focus whenever you can. It’s like looking at the world with “dreamy eyes”… your eyes will feel more rested, your face looks softer, and you’ll start seeing things from a broader perspective.

•     Relax the muscles in your face; stretch and rotate your jaw three times to the right, then three times to the left. (We hold lots of tension in our jaws!)

•     Go for a walk out in nature—snow flakes, green grass, misty rain, warm sun—whatever nature is offering, stretch the body and breathe it in!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Sarah Merians]

{Fragrance of the Heart}

2011-01-19T08:53:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Planning a wedding is more than just organizing people, places and things! It's a life changing rite-of-passage of your deeper self, an opportunity to discover something of your inner most essence and share that with your beloved.

No wonder that through the ages, fragrance and essential oils—the extracted essence of aromatic plants—were part of a bride's wedding preparations. Using aromatherapy was a way to assist the bride to tap into her own inner essence and bring the magic of nature into the celebration! A bride would be “anointed” with fragrant, soothing essential oils—so she was then wearing the heart of a flower.

Aromatherapists tell us that the inherent beauty and harmony of nature is exemplified in essential oils. They say that using natural fragrance encourages the link between the right and left sides of the brain, connecting how we feel to how we think.

Aromatherapy consultants Joan Clark and Michael Scholes teach that this is the first step to linking the body and mind, the heart and brain, even creating a balance between the female and male energies.

“It is through these realizations,” the experts explain, “that we start to heal our hearts, learn how to communicate our innermost feelings and to express compassion and the ultimate lesson—the ability to forgive.”

Ahhh. Discovering the fragrance of the heart through essential oils.What a wonderful way to plan a wedding....a perfect way to be the bride you want to be....a loving way to begin a spiritual partnership!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: The aromatherapy series continues next week...keep sending your ideas and “fragrant” suggestions!

[Photograph: Courtesy of Little Winter Bride]

{Dreamy Lavender Bride}

2011-01-12T09:59:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
You know that getting rest -- like a good night's sleep -- is important during the busy time of wedding planning, yes? Here are some "dreamy suggestions" for using lavender essential oil from aromatherapy consultant friends of mine:

•    To support a restful sleep, put some flower petals in a pretty dish on your night table and sprinkle a few drops of lavender essential oil on the petals for a soothing way to enter your dreams. (Perhaps use petals that are fading from a special bouquet of flowers you received!)

•    Scent your bed linens with lavender for a relaxing sleep.

•    Do you use an eye mask for sleeping? Put a few drops of lavender essential oil on the mask (on the side away from your eyes) to support a peaceful night’s rest.

Taking care of yourself is the most important item to have on your "wedding planning to-do list" -- don't leave yourself out!! Have various relaxation practices (light exercise; meditative breaks; walks in nature; burn lavender scented candles while reading; breathe deeply and slowly) be part of your daily routine. Be creative, be gentle, be natural (use aromatherapy fragrances, not artificial stuff*), be aware that real beauty comes from the inside, and be a dreamy bride....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps:*Mountain Rose Herbs is one of my favorite essential oil sources because of their commitment to quality certified organic products!
pps: More from the series of "aromatherapy, brides and weddings" continues next Wednesday! Tune in...

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

{The Language of Flowers}

2011-01-05T07:58:00.001-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Brides and the language of flowers have a romantic and mystical history. Through the ages, romantics assigned meaning to flowers and herbs according to their innate nature—and a language was created!

Bridal folklore tells of maidens entwining creamy white, aromatic orange blossoms into a bridal wreath for their hair, to ensure fertility; or carrying a bunch of sweet smelling white lilacs, representing innocence; or tucking fragrant herbs into their bouquets, rosemary for remembrance and dill, believed to provoke lust. (And both herbs were often eaten for their supposed powers!)

Queen Victoria carried a nosegay of snowdrops, representing friendship (they were her beloved Albert’s favorite flower); and Princess Grace, after much thought, selected lilies-of-the-valley for her wedding bouquet, one of the many delicate flowers meaning purity.

Former Brides magazine editor-in-chief, Barbara Tober, tells us that the sentimental Victorians of the 19th century had a custom of arranging a bouquet of flowers and herbs “to spell out the groom’s name (baby’s breath, irises, limonium, and lilies for B-I-L-L.”) The little book, The Language of Flowers, is a reproduction of a Victorian’s floral inspiration that will help you create your own romantic language in flowers!

However, don’t wait for your wedding day. Be inspired, with or without flowers, to speak a language of love and tenderness right this very moment!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: To continue enjoying this series of "brides, weddings, aromatherapy" posts, join us here next Wednesday! (And by-the-way, if you’ve missed any posts, the series began on November 3, 2010.)

[Photograph: Matt Hakola]

{Tune Into Your Body}

2010-12-29T07:53:00.003-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Do you want to know a great way to let go of the tensions that build up while juggling your life during your busy wedding planning time? Dance! Just get up and move your body...

When you have a little alone time, turn down the lights, light aromatherapy candles or burn incense, and get your kundalini energy flowing!

Play lush, sensual music that you can feel in your body. (Here's a tip to start: With your eyes open or closed, and without moving your head, look down to the right...that will get you tuned into your body...then begin moving your hips…)

Feel the music in your body? Allow yourself to let go into the kinesthetic experience of it all! Breathe in the natural fragrances of your aromatherapy candles .... and let their scents delight! Create a sensuous, moving meditation—in sweet surrender, finding the pleasure of your own company. (Other times, invite your partner to join you!)

This will relax and invigorate....refresh and stimulate! It will cook up your creative and intuitive energies....plus it's just fun. Keep the love flowing....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: Since you're enjoying this "aromatherapy, brides, and weddings" series...it will continue in the NEW YEAR! See you then....

[Photograph: Marianne Taylor, London]

{Truly Divine!}

2010-12-22T07:51:00.003-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As you are choosing flowers for your wedding, remember that the sense of smell is considered “the most ancient and magical sense, acting as a sort of sensual medium between heaven and earth,” according to author Christopher Bamford. “A scent or perfume was thought to express the inner essence or spiritual nature of a thing.” Therefore using fragrant flowers for your wedding is like sharing something truly divine!

Use your wedding planning time to express your inner essence. When you feel yourself getting stressed or when your “to do” list keeps getting longer, pause…

Now take several slow, deep breaths ... easy, slowly breathe until you find your center.
Imagine roots from the bottoms of your feet sinking deep into the Earth, grounding you.
And now in every gesture and expression you offer to others, give the most generous and grateful version of you.

That’s your inner essence! Don't be stingy with it...spritz everyone you meet today with something divine! A little bit of you....

Love. Listen. Let go...
...with love from Cornelia

ps: This series of "aromatherapy, brides, and weddings" continues next week...it'll be divine!

[Photography: Daniel Sheenan]

{Unpetaling Poetry}

2010-12-15T07:03:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Reading poetry can be relaxing and romantic and sensory. For your own private, quiet time: cozy in with a cup of hot tea and comfy pjs...light some aromatherapy candles and breathe deeply...and as you're feeling your body slow down and relax, read something from The Love Poems of Rumi or Gift from the Sea...and allow the words to sink deeply into your soul. Breathe that feeling in....

Sometimes invite your partner into this relaxing reverie for an intimate moment. Taking slow, deep, soothing breaths together, imagine the breath filling your heart...and when you feel your heart expanding full of love, read this poem by Juan Ramon Jimenez:

I unpetalled you, like a rose,
to see your soul,
and I didn’t see it.
But everything around
—horizons of land and seas—,
everything, out to the infinite,
was filled with a fragrance,
enormous and alive.

Enough said....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: Next Wednesday the "aromatherapy, brides, and weddings" series continues....see you there!

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

{Goddess of Love}

2010-12-08T06:11:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
According to goddess legends, the rose is the flower of Venus, known as the Goddess of Love in Greek mythology. No wonder roses are a wedding favorite. But don’t wait for your wedding day to surround yourself with flowers ... treat yourself now! Aromatherapy experts remind us that the scent of the rose is relaxing—a perfect choice as a fragrant bouquet or single bloom to keep at your desk or in your bedroom. Enjoy and breathe deeply....

As a bride, you step into your own goddess legend—so start practicing how to keep your heart open and full of love. Try this "rose relaxation" now:
As you take three deep, slow breaths—allowing your breath to gently move your chest up and down, following its flow in and out—relax your shoulders...soften your eyes...let go of where you're holding any tension...continue to breathe deeply...and imagine your heart opening...opening. Then inhale the scent of roses (even it’s only in your imagination) and breathe in the soothing, heart-full fragrance of the love goddess....

Of course you can share your love goddess ways with your wedding guests and have roses all around...or use fresh rose petals lining the aisle or for your guests to toss as happy wishes. I love this "wedding rose" story from Barbara Tober, former editor-in-chief of Bride’s magazine: “One couple left their ceremony under a shower of petals from all the roses he had sent her during their courtship, lovingly saved.” (If you save rose petals for tossing, you could spritz them the day of your wedding with rosewater and re-live the love all over again!)

But just remember...the beauty secret of the Goddess of Love is that she keeps her heart open....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: stay in touch for more in this special series on "aromatherapy, brides, and weddings"....

[Photograph: Marianne Taylor, UK]

{The Fragrance of Love}

2010-12-01T08:07:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Aromatherapy experts tell us there is a keen relationship between memory and the sense of smell. So thoughtfully choose the fragrance that you wear on your wedding day as well as the scent of flowers in your bouquet. This could be the scent that always brings back your remembrance of this special day.

And here's an idea for your wedding...set-in a wonderful memory: Before you begin to walk down the aisle, pause. And the moment you see your husband-to-be standing at the other end waiting for you, breathe in a slow, easy breath and let the scent of your bouquet flowers take you deep into your heart...anchoring in the fragrance of love.

Practice now: Take several deeeep, slow inhales with long, relaxing exhales until you feel your heart open. Don't rush....enjoy breathing in and out of your heart and find the sweetness there. Okay, you're ready!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: One of my favorite books about flowers continues to be the little Kate Greenaway version of Language of Flowers ...sharing the meaning of hundreds of blossoms. And to learn more about aromatherapy and how to use essential oils and fragrance, The Art of Aromatherapy is full of great ideas. Enjoy.

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

{Soothing & Naturally Scented}

2010-11-24T06:37:00.001-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Do something soothing and fragrant and luxurious for yourself every day while planning your wedding. (I know you're busy, but you can do it! You're worth it.) It can be as simple as keeping aromatherapy candles on hand so you can light one or two and make whatever tasks you're doing -- cleaning house or writing thank you notes or looking at magazines -- a more pleasurable experience with natural fragrances "wafting" about! (It's amazing how something so simple can make such a difference in your well-being.)

Then, when you have some alone private time, take a relaxing bath with calming, fragrant essential oils and herbal bath salts. Light an aromatherapy candle in a favorite scent (or use an essential oil diffuser -- they're a dream!), then close your eyes and take deeeep, slow breaths while you enjoy wherever the soothing quiet takes you.

But you don't have time for a soaking bath and need to get energized fast? For a fragrant, quick pick-me-up anytime of day, spritz rosewater facial mist on your face for a revitalizing refreshment.

There you have it! You can go scent, soak, and spritz away and bring aromatherapy into your wedding planning time for moments of scented pleasure -- whether you need to relax or revitalize. (Plus, it's great practice for taking care of yourself "after the wedding" when you get back to "regular life"!)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: Stay tuned for more next week in the "brides, weddings, and aromatherapy" series.

[Photograph: April Groom]

{Aromatherapy, Your Heart & You}

2010-11-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

Dear Bride-To-Be:
We all love flowers and natural fragrances. And weddings are a chance to surround ourselves with both. During this blog series highlighting “brides, weddings, and aromatherapy,” some of you have asked, “just what is aromatherapy?”

Like the heart of your relationship is love, the heart of aromatherapy is essential oils. Essential oils are the highly concentrated essences of aromatic plants such as flowers, fruits, herbs, seeds, woods, and roots. Aromatherapy is the art of using these oils to take care of your body, mind and spirit...even promoting healing.

And here is what’s so cool: Since smell goes directly into the olfactory of the brain, the body gets an immediate signal to respond to the charms of a scents’ character. For instance, a sniff of chamomile essential oil will have a relaxing effect; while a whiff of rosemary essential oil will enliven. As our bodies become more open and alive -- more sensitive to the pleasures of the world around us -- our hearts are more open to giving and receiving love.

So keep a supply of essential oils in your “wedding planning kit” to use to pamper and take care of all the parts of you! Because as you take care of yourself inside and out, you are nurturing your relationship inside and out as well.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: In future posts, listen out for some deliciously pleasurable aromatic ideas for taking care of you from head to toe! (Missed past aromatherapy posts? Just scroll down and enjoy....)

[Photograph: Marianne Taylor, London]

{Being a Radiant Bride}

2010-11-10T08:08:00.004-05:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
“A naturally fragrant bride,” according to well-known aromatherapist Valerie Ann Worwood, “is one with inner calm and outer radiance, and one that uses aromatherapy and fragrance to enhance the whole bridal experience.” Author of Aromatherapy for the Soul, Valerie Ann knows a thing or two about various aromatic concoctions to pamper a busy bride into relaxed bliss! (You deserve it.)

It’s important to have some relaxing time to balance the bustling pace of wedding planning time. (In my experience of working with thousands and thousands of brides, a more relaxed bride is a more beautifully radiant bride!) So to soothe the soul of a busy bride, Valerie Ann offers this reminder: Your own bathtub can become a relaxing bridal spa. “One of the best ways to relax is in hot water. Water is comforting and soothing, as well as relaxing,” the aromatherapy expert says and offers a wonderful recipe for an Exotic Sensual Milk Bath:

• Add one teaspoon Coconut milk and one teaspoon Coconut oil and two drops Ylang ylang or essential oil of your choice. Mix together and add to your bath.

• Then light a calming aromatherapy candle, perhaps listen to some meditative music, and sooooak in all the fragrant delights!

Ahhh...sounds like a simply delightful and easy way to refresh -- and be on your way to being a radiant bride! Enjoy....

Love. Listen. Let go....
...with love from Cornelia

ps: Mountain Rose Herbs is a wonderful source for your aromatherapy concoction supplies.
pps: This is the second in a series of “brides, weddings, and aromatherapy”...tune in next week for another new “fragrant” post!

[Photograph: Josie Miner]

{Fragrance & Brides}

2010-11-03T05:54:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be: We all love the subtle fragrances of flowers and the dreamy places their romantic scents seem to take us, yes? Today I’m beginning a series on “brides, weddings, and aromatherapy.” The posts will be full of tips and ideas for being the calm, beautiful, sensuous, and naturally fragrant bride you want to be!

Did you know that fragrance can affect your emotions? Since brides are in the middle of an emotional journey of life adjustment and decision making, inner growth and self-discovery, the right fragrance can help soothe the way to the wedding. Aromatherapists have long suggested using essential oils to treat stress, so what fragrance should a bride wear on her wedding day to feel beautiful and at ease?

“I would recommend citrus and white flowers,” says Eleanor Athens, a pioneer in the world of scents and essential oils. “Fresh citrus scents lower stress levels, and the aroma of tropical blossoms such as jasmine and ylang is both relaxing and euphoric; just how you want to feel on your wedding day.”

Mmmmm....euphoric and relaxing...what an irresistible combination! My friends at Mountain Rose Herbs can assist you with the purest of essential oils (nothing artificial for you!)...and taking some slow, thoughtful breaths deep into your heart will assist you in easing the stress of wedding planning.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: More to come on fragrance and your wedding in my next post...every Wednesday!
pps: My book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside To Find Yourself, has more ideas for using essential oils for your wedding...plus lots more tips for your inner & outer beauty! Do you have your copy yet?

[Photograph: Laura Heffington]

{Champion One Another}

2010-10-27T07:30:00.004-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I'm always looking for interesting relationship quotes and bits of advice to share in my writing. Here's something I thought you'd appreciate and could use...we all need reminders every now and then about opening our hearts just a wee bit more!

In his book, Nine Critical Mistakes Most Couples Make, Dr. David Hawkins, known as “The Relationship Doctor,” offers these ways that couples often misstep:
~ They talk sharply to one another.
~ They take one another for granted.
~ They make demands instead of requests.
~ They put each other down rather than offering praise.
~ They fail to get excited about each other's ideas.
~ They forget to champion one another.

So go be your partner's champion today! Be supportive, loving, forgiving, patient, attentive. And in the process, you will both win....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

{Feeling Beautiful Down to Your Toes}

2010-10-20T08:32:00.013-04:00

Dear Bride-To-Be:
As you may know, it’s a rather recent custom—in the world of costume history—for brides to have new dress for their wedding. I have a collection of old wedding photographs from the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries of brides wearing their “best dress,” usually a dark color (it was practical, appropriate for mourning, and perhaps the only fabric available!)

So to make their dark outfit more festive and “bridal,” some brides attached creame ribbon and lace and wax orange blossom rosettes to their skirt and wore fresh flowers or a crown of wax orange blossoms in their hair with some sort of veil attached. The veil seemed to declare, “I’m a bride!”

What are you wearing as part of your “bridal costume” that declares something really special for you—that just makes you tingle? Maybe it’s the gown itself—it makes you feel like a fairy princess; or perhaps family heirloom earrings that you admired as a little girl; or your great-grandmother’s handmade lace veil purchased on her “grand tour” of Europe; or possibly it’s just the giddiest pink pumps ever!

Whatever it is—wear it with joie de vie delight—feel beautiful down to your toes—and let it declare to the world not only “I’m a bride”—but especially “I’m a goddess!”

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Top Photograph: Collection of the Author;
Bottom Photograph: Jason Hudson]

{The Lingering Pleasure of a Pause}

2010-10-13T11:05:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
The words you speak during your wedding ceremony have a depth and power to them . . . choose them well, then speak them from your heart.

Here’s tip. Borrow a technique from seasoned public speakers: the intentional pause. And here’s a way to practice: Slowly and out loud, read a favorite love poem or some other passage you love—either to yourself or to a friend—with a deliberate pause between each phrase. (Read like you are sharing the words with your beloved.) What did you notice? Was it easy or hard to slow down? Did you want to rush and fill the silence?

Practice some more. Find yourself in the spaces as you read. Give the words space to breathe . . . and continue to find the grace in the pause. Life becomes sweeter when it’s a practice of what gently serves love instead of a rush to the finish line!

This will be great practice for your wedding day: to slow down and find the luscious spaces not only in your words, but also in your steps, and in your hugs and embraces. Enjoy the lingering pleasure of each moment, of each pause. (It’s okay to slow down. You will get to the wedding altar—or wherever your journey takes you—at the perfect moment.)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Meg Smith]

{Complicated Roots}

2010-10-06T06:09:00.002-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
What rituals are you using for your wedding? Are they from family or religious traditions...or perhaps something you’ve read about or seen at another wedding? What do you know about the origin of these rituals and traditions?

My customers and audiences are always curious about the origin of wedding rituals—customs so familiar that we seldom give them a second thought during wedding festivities: tossing the garter, carrying a bouquet, exchanging rings, cutting the cake. We have accepted these traditions from the past into our modern celebrations, yet a bit of mystery remains. Most wedding rituals used today are a custom “rooted in the potent mix of tradition and superstition,” states Barbara Tober, former editor-in-chief of Bride’s magazine, in her classic book The Bride: A Celebration.

Given the hazy origin of most wedding customs, tracing them becomes a bit of a puzzle. Cultures around the world participated in wedding ceremonies in ways unique to their tribe or region or religion. These rituals and customs then took a meandering path through the centuries, being adapted and altered by new generations. To borrow a phrase from Carol McD. Wallace in her book All Dressed in White, wedding traditions have “complicated roots.”

I find that couples who learn about the rituals they plan to use for their wedding become more deeply related to their ceremony ahead...as well as learn more about each other! Let me know what you’ve learned or if you have any questions...I’d love to hear from you!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: April Grooms]

{Paying Attention To Love}

2010-09-29T11:50:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
During the busyness of wedding planning, there are lots of things to pay attention to -- yes? Let me remind you of one more...but this one will make all the other tasks easier and simpler! Pay attention to how you are breathing -- your inhales and exhales. When we're busy and rushing about, we usually take short, fast, shallow breaths (which makes us more tired.) Taking deeper, slower inhales and longer, softer exhales will relax you on the spot! Try it right now...slow, easy, deep, relaxing breaths.

Here's a little secret: When you pay attention to your breathing, you are also paying attention to love. How does that work? As you pay more attention to your breaths -- slowing it all down and taking deeper, softer breaths -- you are more at ease...your mind becomes quieter as your body relaxes. And as you relax and let those noisy thoughts just drift by, the world around you becomes quieter and you get closer to the true feelings of your heart...you can feel what your heart is telling you. Listen in....

In the quiet and ease that comes with paying attention to your breathing, you are more available to express love and acceptance...and let more love in. Like magic. (And a little icing on the cake: When you realize how much better it feels to slow down and breatheeeeee, you also just might realize that you can accomplish more and take care of yourself better while you're doing it!)

Now isn't that worth paying attention to? Okay, deeeeeep breaths....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Brian Wagner]

{A Wealth of Fertile Wishes}

2010-09-22T07:19:00.017-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Did you know that flowers, cakes, and children used as a part of wedding festivities through history were all originally symbolic of the desire for “fertility”? Many ancient customs came from the wish of the community for the couple to be blessed with children as well as an abundant and full life. Times have changed through the centuries, but a community’s “fertile” wishes of well-being and happiness remain universal.

How does your community express tradition? Even if your community’s ways are not how you do things now, there is still a way to include what’s at the heart of the matter—their love. And whether or not you use any rituals or traditions for your wedding (putting a coin in your shoe, cutting a big wedding cake, having a flower girl, tossing a bouquet, ecetera!) you will be just as married, just as capable to live an abundant life, and just as able to find ways to include your community’s well-wishes of love!

What could be more “fertile”...more beautiful?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Sarah Merians Photography]

{Be a Goddess for a Lifetime}

2010-09-15T09:36:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
The tradition of the white wedding gown is neither universal, nor is it very old. Queen Victoria of England, at her wedding in 1840, was not the first bride to wear white, but her grand influence set the “bridal white” fashion in motion . . . and the rest is history.

Wearing white has always had a ceremonial and regal quality—for whatever occasion—taking on a kind of radiance. In my costume history research exploring goddess mythology, I find a heritage of shimmering white gowns worn by ancient luminous deities who embodied the female essence of beauty, strength, and love. Goddesses all! Perhaps then, as a bride, you are indeed the “epiphany of the goddess.” Hmmm . . . try that on for a moment. (Take a long, slow breath deep into your body and just imagine how it would feel to be a Goddess.) Then allow that goddess awareness to draw you closer to your own feminine nature and breathe in its soulful beauty.

Just know that whatever you wear for your wedding—a white gown, a colorful kimono, or a pair of jeans—you carry something of the goddess spirit with you! Your ritual costume wraps you in a bit of “royal lineage” that now simply becomes a part of who you are. As I’ve told brides for years, Don’t settle for being a “princess for a day”—be a “goddess for a lifetime.”

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

{A Gift for Your Heart}

2010-09-08T08:01:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I just finished a lovely series of book signing and speaking events. I shared with guests stories and ideas from my new book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself—and was delighted that many folks not only bought the book as gifts for friends and family, but also “felt” the intimacy of its message.

In the book, I invite readers to come go on an exploration with me. It’s a journey that taps into the ancient wisdom and magic of the past where you uncover some of the mysteries of your bridal rite-of-passage. As you take a few calming deep breaths, the journey gently spirals inward—like a long soothing sigh—into a quiet still space where you feel more peaceful and present. Here you are invited to “look inside to find yourself” … and there, with eyes open wide, you get a glimpse of your heart’s desire.

Now who could ask for anything more while planning your wedding? Whether it’s a book’s message or a relaxing deep breathing exercise or a meditative practice to keep your heart open—give yourself a gift of tender loving care ... a gift for your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

{Treasured Words}

2010-09-01T17:01:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Words have magic and power to them. Words that you and your partner consider for your wedding vows are treasured “borrowed wisdom.” You may choose sacred words from an old religious text or something from your ancient heritage, like the Cherokee Wedding Prayer or Celtic Blessings, or perhaps from literature, such as Shakespeare’s Sonnets. Whatever source you borrow from . . . the words are a gift. Even if you write your own vows, these are words that have resonated with other ageless lovers searching for that perfect expression of the heart.

As you speak the words of declaration at your wedding, don’t rush. Allow their energy and rhythm to flow deep inside you, feel them in your heart, moving you to a new place of love and commitment.

Here’s an idea for a bit of wedding ceremony practice: During the “busyness” of wedding planning, why don’t you and your partner choose favorite love poems to read to each other as a way to stay connected. Close your eyes if you’re the one listening; gently deepen your breathing; and as the words are spoken, see if you can feel them in your body. Practice until you can feel your heart open so you know the difference ... and then when those treasured words are spoken at your wedding, your heart will be ready!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]

{Tying the Knot}

2010-08-25T11:24:00.002-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As you're preparing for your wedding, you will hear and see lots of familiar "wedding expressions" in your daily routine that are actually rooted in the past. Like "tie the knot"....

You've probably heard some of the stories of its origin: how a couple would tie a rope or scarf in a ceremonial knot as a wedding ritual, symbolizing their connection and faith to each other. Perhaps you know of someone who has used a version of the ritual in their ceremony.

But did you know that the original ceremony -- from the ancient Celtic culture -- was a very intricate weaving that would entwine the couple's hands within the knot at the same time? This Celtic love knot pattern consists of complete loops that have neither a beginning nor an end. It was difficult to do and took a lot of practice by the couple, becoming like a meditative rehearsal for intimacy. The purpose was not only to create a "symbol" of the continuance of life and love, but was actually to help create or deepen an intimate bond between the couple.

Imagine doing this ceremony with your beloved: you are standing face to face; you feel the cording on your skin as it binds the two of you together; your hands become entwined; you are drawn even closer as you look into the eyes of your beloved, that intimate moment of looking into the "mirror of your soul" through another.

This is the purpose of all ancient wedding rituals: to create an intimacy of connection for the couple; to connect hearts for a lifetime. And the wisdom of the Celtic love knot ceremony takes it even deeper: entwining the heart of your relationship for inner-growth and self-discovery ... and the experience of practicing unending love together. Relationships don't always last, but the love that brings people together can indeed be everlasting with a little bit of practice.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: April Groom]

{The Prickly Beloved}

2010-08-18T08:35:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
The old British sixpence coin became legendary when it was included in the 19th century bridal rhyme “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence for your shoe.” Before the fabled sixpence existed in the British Empire, coins minted in Scotland used the image of their national flower, the beloved thistle, as a symbol of honor. Then later the thistle joined other botanical images—roses, leeks, and shamrocks—in a garland on the back of the sixpence coin itself.

I wouldn’t consider the picturesque thistle a romantic wildflower—full of prickly leaves and bristly stems. Author Laura Martin concurs in Wildflower Folklore: “Since the language of this plant is defiance and surliness, a young lady would probably not be pleased to see thistle in her bouquet from an admirer.”

However, beloved it is and a perfect aide memoire . . . a reminder right there on the back of your sixpence coin that it’s great to have people around who love us even on our “prickly” days!

Whatever flowers you use for your wedding, or whatever images appear on your bridal coin, be thankful for all the choices you have. And those times when you’re feeling a bit thistle-like (pretty to look at, but a tad prickly), at least blow loving “long-distance” kisses to your fans and let everyone know you’ll soon be back in full bloom!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Bridal Photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Relaxation Response (sigh)}

2010-08-11T08:45:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Did you just sigh? I've noticed that when a woman becomes a bride, she sighs a lot.(Happy sighs, woeful sighs.) Being in love (sigh), having a looooong to-do list (sigh), finding the perfect dress (sigh).

Let's make better use of those sighs and turn them into intentional deep, long, soothing breaths. This way you can stay relaxed while engaging in your busy life and planning your wedding (sigh).

Breathing guru, Dennis Lewis, says in his wonderful book, Free Your Breath, Free Your Life, that "a long, slow exhalation turns on your 'relaxation response'." Hmmm. So how about a little practice right now?

Breathing through your nose, take a deeeeeep, slow inhale; and then allow your exhale to be even sloooooower and longer. Don't rush, enjoy the ease of letting go with each exhale ... like a long, luscious sigh. Continue this relaxation response whatever you're doing. Just pay attention to your breaths ... especially those longer, relaxing exhales (sigh).

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb]

{Standing On Solid Ground}

2010-08-04T14:58:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Our fascination with shoes started long before designer labels or “Sex and the City.” Shoes—for obvious reasons—were first created for protective covering but then evolved into status symbols (sometimes rather foreboding ones) as well as objects of beauty and sexual allure.

Historians tell us that the symbolism of footwear in connection with marriage and luck dates back to antiquity. An old custom in China, tossing the bride’s red shoes from a roof, ensured the couple’s happiness; the ancient Inca Indians of Peru exchanged sandals to seal the marriage deal. In more recent history, perhaps when your grandparents or their parents married, couples rode away in a car with shoes tied onto the bumper as a sign that prosperity would follow them!

Whatever shoes you wear for your wedding—or even if you go barefoot—be sure that you’re “standing on solid ground” as far as your heart is concerned! Keep checking in with yourself while you are planning your wedding to be sure that your focus is on your relationship and that your attention hasn’t gotten lost in the busyness of wedding “things.” (Like what shoes look the best with your dress!)

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

{Thank You!}

2010-07-28T08:21:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
There simply cannot be too many thank-yous spoken in the world. (Nor too many hearts full of love!) Many people assisted you in getting to your wedding day...keep the generosity and gratitude going. Say “thank you” to the first and last person you see today—and everyone in between—and really mean it.

Notice how it lights people up. In fact, make it your job to light people up today. “Thank you!” It feels great; in fact, you’re the one who just might get the biggest reward.

“Gratitude is what returns us to love,” writer Lisa Clapier reminds us, and love is abundantly endless. You won’t run out—just keep giving it away!

Have your wedding be remembered for the gifts everyone went home with—your love and gratitude.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Brian Wagner]

{Declare Your Own Value}

2010-07-21T08:06:00.003-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
History can be rather convoluted and, at times, not very attractive...including the history of weddings. For instance, the background of “...and a sixpence for your shoe”—the ending of the innocent bridal rhyme representing wishes for wealth and happiness for the couple—is steeped in some rather harsh history. In some cultures, coins depicted a father “selling” his daughter to a future husband, and the use of shoes were seen as a symbol of man’s domination over women.

Some harsh history indeed. But the other side of humans and our history is how we can turn some things into positive and fulfilling symbols and rituals. So the meaning of a coin in your shoe for your wedding has the power that you give it—so give it a wealth of love and all the abundant energy you can muster!

Today, a man and woman’s sense of “wealth” includes riches of the heart and spirit—generating an abundant partnership and deep connection. We are blessed in modern culture to be able to declare our own value. You are an invaluable part of the divine plan—wear it well on your wedding day!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Take Someone's Breath Away}

2010-07-14T09:47:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Taking a deep, slow breath gives you pause; and in the space of that pause, you're more relaxed, more present, more likely to "respond" instead of "react." When you put attention on your breath, you're able to see both the "big picture" as well as the "details" in clearer focus; decision making becomes easier.

Are you noticing your breath as you are reading this? Put attention on your breath – take longer, deeper breaths and get more nourishing oxygen into your brain and body. Your breath brings ease into your tense muscles: your shoulders drop, your chest expands, your neck and jaw relax. You look softer.

And you just might take someone's breath away!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

{A Grateful Heart}

2010-07-07T07:58:00.007-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Do you think that abundance is limited? That good fortune skips a day in your life? Wise spiritual guides tell us that what we might consider as lack of abundance or a misfortune is actually an opportunity to open our hearts even wider ... a reminder to be thankful for what we do have. Blessings come a’calling to a grateful heart!

Over two thousand years ago, the Roman philosopher Cicero said “a grateful heart is the greatest virtue.” We receive presents each day that we may not recognize as presents, but it seems that anytime we express appreciation for the experience we’ve been given—no matter what it is—then our hearts open that much more.

Keep your heart available for love in abundant proportions . . . and abundance is yours. Remember that it’s a generous dose of gratitude that returns you to the “fortunes” of love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Sarah Merians Photography]

{Borrowing From the Past}

2010-06-30T07:59:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Wedding ceremonies “borrow” from the past—words, music, gestures—and when you participate in wedding rituals, you are “borrowing” wisdom from another time. As you tap into those ancient wisdoms, you are tapping into your own inner wisdom. That’s why when you’re going through these intimate rituals, it can all feel strangely natural and familiar . . . “Have I been here before?” It’s not the ritual itself; rituals are just a vehicle to take you into your heart center. What is familiar is you! The real you gets to emerge. (Ahhhh. The magic process of the rite-of-passage.)

The most memorable of wedding ceremonies draws the best from the past yet makes it beautifully present. Therefore, whatever you “borrow” to create your wedding, stir it up with your own inspired magic so it comes from your heart! Bringing it from the past, giving it your presence.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jason Hudson Photography]

{Feminine Through & Through}

2010-06-23T09:56:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
You don't have to wait for your wedding day to indulge in pampering yourself with a host of fem-fem treats—like a relaxing massage or lavender bubble bath or gathering with girlfriends. You can feel feminine through and through by breathing in some of that lavender-scented, womanly magic right now!

Do this little exercise: Close your eyes; take a couple of deep, slow, soothing breaths (inhaling and exhaling through your nose, if possible, for even more relaxation.) Now, visualize a time you felt feminine through and through—take your time until you feel that lushness in every cell of your body—then breathe in that strength, beauty, and confidence. Deeply, truly, lovingly. It's always there, always available for you to claim.

Relax and breathe it in.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

{This Is Your Moment}

2010-06-16T06:42:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As many years as the “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence for your shoe” bridal rhyme has been touching women’s lives, there are that many interpretations of its meaning, each offering suggestions for a fulfilling and happy life.

For my book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself -- and as a gift to the modern bride -- I’ve interwoven intuitive twists and insights for a more personal interpretation of this charming “something old” rhyme. (Do you have your copy of The Bride's Ritual Guide book yet?) Taking the rhyme’s simplicity, I wrapped it with the intimacy of a woman’s language as a way to move you deep into the heart of your bridal rite-of-passage.

Yes, this is your bridal rite-of-passage...not just a time in your life to plan your wedding! It is your moment to look inside to find yourself...and meet the real you...be surprised and delighted...make a few adjustments, tenderly...and love what you find. Yes, other moments of self-discovery are always available to you...but here's an opportunity like no other. Don't miss this moment...the magic of this rite-of-passage...the magic of you.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Take A Deep Breath First!}

2010-06-09T17:01:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Weddings are like a microcosmic slice of real life magnified ... and when planning a wedding, things seem to speed up in the busyness of coordinating and organizing. So do you want a quick way to relax and refresh? You want "time" itself to slow down? Then take a deep breath first!

Try it. Right before you make a decision, or begin a meeting, or when you're feeling overwhelmed, or an upset is bubbling up, or you feel just a little weary: Take a slow, deep breath (an easy, soft inhale and a long, slow exhale) and see the difference it makes in the outcome. It's simple but very effective. Take a deep breath first...then followed by another and another. (Slow your breaths and time slows down. Deepen your breaths and reach a deeper part of you.)

Take care of you first, then there is more of you available to love on others! A beautiful bride takes a deep breath first so her I love yous come from deep inside.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb Photographers]

{A Rich Life}

2010-06-02T14:00:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
In the old-world custom of a woman’s dowry (the wealth she brought to the marriage from her family) lies the tradition of the bridal sixpence coin. Silver or gold coins would have been included in the bride’s dowry along with livestock, land, and household goods. Therefore, putting a coin into the bride’s shoe—originally done by her father in most areas of the world—symbolized transferring a share of her family's wealth to the groom to ensure a prosperous life for his new family.

Of course brides in modern Western culture have a very different outlook and bring independent ownership into a marriage. But in the sense of “inner wealth,” what symbolizes a “rich” life to you? What do you bring to your relationship that offers an abundant spirit? Is part of your “dowry” a generous helping of lightheartedness? Does your “wealth of independence” include an open heart ready to love and forgive, forgive and love, then do it all over again?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

{Smile, Breathe and Go Slowly}

2010-05-27T07:55:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I think these words by Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, “smile, breathe, and go slowly,” become a perfect mantra to use while planning your wedding. (And perfect words to live by at any time!)

Wedding planning time is a busy-busy time, yes? And if you tend to start multi-tasking and your actions get on speed-dial, your breathing becomes shallow, and you get wound really tight! And when you’re tense and speeding around, you’re usually “in your head.” And when you’re inside your noisy thoughts, you’re not present—nor are you inside your heart. And when you’re not thinking from your heart, you’re not fully connected to your relationships. YIKES!

Slow down, take a deep breath, and smile.

Smiling helps release tension and brings you back to yourself. Smiling relaxes the body, slows down your breaths, quiets your thoughts, radiates warmth and connection, and creates the world anew. It’s hard to be angry or jealous or bent out of shape with a big smile on your face.

The wise Thich Nhat Hanh also said: “Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” So…smile, Girl, smile! And be a beautiful, relaxed bride…with a more beautiful life ahead.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

{Lit From Within}

2010-05-20T15:46:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Are you still busy looking for the “perfect” wedding dress? Or have you found the gown that simply calls your name . . . that you feel beautiful in inside and out?

No matter what stage you're in with your wedding activities, remember that “a wedding gown does not a bride make”! I’ve worked with brides of all ages—from seventeen to eighty-seven, from first marriage to more than three—and every bride in love is lit with a “fairy tale quality” no matter what she was wearing. Being loved and being in love does that: lights you up from within, surrounds you with blessings, raises you above the mundane.

So it's not a beautiful gown that makes a woman a beautiful bride. That glow of beauty comes from wearing her love like a warm, generous embrace. . . and sharing it with everyone along the way.

What do you need to put into place in your life right now so you don’t lose—or at least so you can recapture—that “lit from within” feeling after the wedding . . . when life settles down and becomes “normal” again? What do you call on at those times when love doesn't feel so special . . . when you don't feel beautiful in whatever you are wearing?

Look inside yourself to find your light, your magic. . . that place where love resides. Then breathe that light in so you become familiar with how being present to your “inner light” feels. Make it a practice so you can return to that essence at any time—especially when life feels more like a fractured fairy tale than that falling in love lightness! And remember, even at those stressful times, your inner light is always available to call on . . . just look inside and fall in love with yourself and the whole wide world over and over again.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb Photography Studio]

{Leaving Blessings in Her Wake}

2010-05-13T10:37:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Wearing a gown with a train has such a fairy tale quality. I enjoyed watching brides-to-be trying on gowns in my former shop as they twirled and turned in front of the mirror, craning their necks like some exotic bird attempting to see how their train magically draped and “puddled” behind them.

During this “mirror ritual,” I shared a pretty notion with each bride, embellishing a quote from former editor-in-chief of Bride’s magazine, Barbara Tober: The train of the gown is an extension of the presence of the bride . . . on her wedding day she moves amongst her friends and family, leaving blessings in her wake.

(Close your eyes and slowly breathe that lovely image deep into your heart.)

Weddings offer many opportunities to leave loving blessings trailing behind your bright aura! How do you intend to make your wedding a ritual of love for everyone present?

Love. Listen. Let go....
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]

{Ribbons & Favours & Blessings}

2010-05-10T08:06:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Did you know that brides and grooms are thought to be “blessed” on their wedding day? This is a belief with origins in ancient superstitions, so for wedding guests to be “favoured” by the bride and groom with a token or charm was a blessing indeed!

British wedding historian Ann Monsarrat tells of an aristocratic wedding in the sixteenth century when ribbons of the bride’s gown were cut in little pieces and given out to guests for good luck tokens. A custom that followed (to protect the bride's outfit as well as to provide souvenirs) was for friends of the bride to assemble pretty little “knots of ribbon”—in the bride’s chosen colors or perhaps in the colors of the family crest—as “favours” for the wedding guests. It became a sign of status and honor for the guests to wear the charming bouquet of knotted ribbons on their arm or tucked into their hats after the wedding event.

Also, through the centuries and in many cultures, the groom and his attendants wore fanciful ribbon and flower “favours” in their jacket’s buttonhole. Later these were simply called buttonholes or boutonnieres.

Don’t you love hearing origin stories of wedding celebrations to see how customs or rituals that you might take for granted were created? Most customs were created in a very different time and place, but can still hold something dear for your wedding at this moment. Sharing “favours” from the heart is a blessing that's always in fashion!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: circa 1910 image—note groom's elaborate “favour”—courtesy of the Goldstein Museum of Design]

{Wedding Rules or Choices?}

2010-05-03T08:43:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Are you giving wedding favours to your guests? It's always a lovely gesture, but do remember: like so many ideas used for wedding ceremonies that became a custom over the years—it’s not a “rule.”

It helps to know that you are at choice in the matter regarding your wedding. Learn about old customs and new ideas, and then choose for yourself. What wedding traditions or rituals truly express you—your spirit and your budget?

The giving of favours has its roots in ancient superstitious cultures as tokens of good luck, but wedding favours became popular again in modern times only in the last couple of decades when weddings became big business. So don’t get lost in the business of weddings; make choices from your heart!

And remember, after the wedding, you’re just as married whether you gave favours or not to your wedding guests! A heart-felt “thank you”—with an embrace, or kiss on the cheek, or hand shake—can be the best gift of all.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

ps: I love to share origin myths for wedding customs and rituals so you can enjoy the stories of history, then choose for yourself what ideas and traditions serve you! So stay tuned for my next LETTERS TO A BRIDE blog post for some intriguing stories about those wedding favours!)

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

{Planet Wedding}

2010-04-30T06:14:00.005-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I thought you'd like to know about a new book, "Planet Wedding: A Nuptialpedia" by that fabulous "planet" book couple, Sandra and Harry Choron. It's chock-full of ideas and interesting stories about all things wedding -- including one of my stories!

I'm delighted they chose one of my folkloric botanical related stories, "To Gather Orange Blossoms: The Legend of Brides & the Orange Blossom," because I love the connection of brides and flowers. Something magical and mysterious and ultimately feminine about how women and flowers have a deep spiritual connection.

And the book is not just for brides...you and your friends and family will enjoy long after the wedding. Click here to review or order the book.

Enjoy!

....with love from Cornelia

{Your Bridal Spotlight}

2010-04-27T10:11:00.002-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Being a conscious bride takes courage. You step into a spotlight when you become a bride, emotions bubble up during this busy time, perhaps self-doubt creeps in. However, it’s the design of a rite-of-passage to shake you up a bit, to prepare you for a huge leap of faith. This may be unsettling at first, yet it is the nature of change . . . to inspire an inner awakening, to prepare you for receiving life as a gift!

Use your time in the bridal spotlight -- and the special, intuitive energy of your bridal rite-of-passage -- to find your quiet center and ground yourself. Have a gentle, meditative stretching routine of some sort that helps relax your body and supports your inner peacefulness. From that more settled aware place, your mind gets quieter; your emotions won’t be so apt to bubble over; you become less reactive, more responsive, more creative, more conscious . . . more available for love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

{Keep Your Heart Open}

2010-04-23T07:35:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Feeling a little overwhelmed with your growing to-do list? Feeling like your attention is constantly being pulled away from your relationship? Feeling like you’re losing your sense of self -- with your strength and usual savvy diminishing? Not feeling clear and empowered to make all the “right” decisions?

Here’s a suggestion: Close your eyes; take deep, slow inhales and exhales; imagine your breath going in and out of your heart; continue these luscious, slow, deep inhales and exhales until you “feel” your heart open. Keep practicing and keep your heart open in the direction of love! Then no matter the circumstances stirring about, when your heart is open, you’ll always know where your real strength and power live.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]

{The Sapphire Mythology}

2010-04-20T10:45:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
For their wedding day “something blue,” some brides wear a special sapphire ring or pin or amulet. Sapphires have a great deal of ethereal meaning in the world of gemstones. Queen Victoria wore a large sapphire brooch, a gift from her beloved Albert, pinned to her white silk satin gown the day they married. As a teenage bride-to-be, Lady Diana Spencer chose a sapphire and diamond engagement ring from the selection offered her by Prince Charles and the royal family.

The blue sapphire is considered the stone of “holy blessings” and has long symbolized truth, sincerity, and faithfulness. A precious gemstone may not be able to guarantee the love we want, but “holy blessings” come in all shapes and sizes and disguises! Whatever gemstone you wear, it’s more of a treasure when you add self-love—a blessing that keeps sharing riches of the heart.

The sapphire mythology also holds that the stone oversees one’s divine destiny. What do you see as your destiny? If it is indeed “divine”—and I believe that’s true for all of us—then love is at its core, and all you need to do is keep your heart open to receive its “holy blessings.”

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

{What Are You Noticing?}

2010-04-16T08:17:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Did you know that when you became engaged -- no matter your age or if you've been a bride before -- that you stepped into an ancient process known as a rite-of-passage? A rite-of-passage is a ritual event that marks a person's progress from one stage of life to another.

And your bridal rite-of-passage -- when you are aware of its magic and inner power -- becomes a journey of self-discovery with a natural flow and rhythm to it. Becoming/being aware is key: What changes are you noticing, feeling, sensing about yourself? It can be subtle, so keep your antenna -- your woman's intuition -- finely tuned.

In your bridal rite-of-passage, when you “get in the zone” of its vibrant energy, the experience can deeply support your inner growth, helping you discover your true strength and power -- so pay attention.

What are you noticing right now?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb]

{Love What You Choose}

2010-04-13T09:20:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
There are so many choices to make when you’re a bride-to-be, but good news! A woman’s intuition seems to light up as a bride. That’s just part of the mystical nature of a rite-of-passage. (And why so many brides find the dress during their first round of shopping!) The more aware you are, the more you can tap into your inner resources where your intuitive “wise self” lives. So don’t resist . . . enjoy the ease that comes with following your “inner wise-woman.”

Your time as a bride-to-be becomes a perfect opportunity to listen to that instinctive wisdom inside you, allowing it to guide your choices—foregoing doubt and second-guessing. (I read something like this on a greeting card: Worrying about the past or the future just saps today of its magic!)

Here’s what your wise inner voice is telling you when it comes to making a choice: Choose from your heart’s desire, then love what you choose. Move on to the next decision, and choose . . . then love that. You get the picture. Choose it, love it, move on! Let the love flow.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

{Regal Spirit}

2010-04-09T09:48:00.002-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Have you selected your wedding gown yet? Are you wearing a tiara or special headpiece in your hair? When you’re all dressed up in your bridal costume, do you feel like a beautiful goddess...or a regal princess...or something out of a fairy tale...or simply deliciously feminine through ’n through...or perhaps strangely “not you”...?

My friend Adele Azar-Rucquoi, who wore no wedding gown nor crown but a white silky blouse and flowing pants with a wide-brim straw hat, was a joyful bride at fifty-nine and the essence of the regalness of spirit. Walking down the aisle toward her beloved, she shares this remembrance in her book for women, Money as Sacrament: “One by one I made eye contact with my friends, grinning until my face hurt. Never have I seen them from so regal a place!”

Perhaps it’s not what you wear on your wedding day but how you wear it. So wear it well, you beautiful Goddess Bride! Allow yourself to feel your regal femininity down to your toes, taking pleasure in your unique feminine ways of being compassionate, kind, and strong. And remember, a Goddess Bride always keeps her heart open.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Courtesy of the University of South Alabama Library]

{Deep Breathing}

2010-04-05T10:11:00.001-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Give yourself the gift of relaxation during everyday moments. While looking at bridal magazines, wrapping presents, or writing thank-you notes: pay attention to your breathing. Slow down and begin inhaling and exhaling with a soft, deep, languid rhythm. Breathing guru Dennis Lewis reminds us: “Sense the natural pause after exhalation; let yourself rest there for a moment.” Pause more in whatever you are doing and notice the difference it makes . . . you’ll begin to feel more settled, more centered, more you.

To deepen the relaxation even more, play soothing music in the background or use headphones for more intimacy when you’re doing these kinds of solitary tasks. Then in addition to accomplishing stuff, it becomes a relaxing, meditative time to boot!

Slow down; take deep, easy breaths; relax and feel your heart-center; and enjoy this special time even more....

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

{Your Womanly Heritage}

2010-04-01T07:49:00.004-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
What if planning a wedding introduced you to a dazzling and perhaps unknown womanly heritage?

Part of the joys of a bride’s rite-of-passage is to be able to connect with her heritage of being a woman. Whatever your relationship with the women in your world—family, friends, work associates—now is the time to open your heart, clean up old wounds, request support, and allow their contributions in. Invite their womanly wisdom into your world.

What if planning your wedding became a practice for building a community of love and support for the rest of your life?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Courtesy of Lisa & Harvey Tipler]

{Express Your Beautiful Self!}

2010-03-29T07:54:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
In Ayurvedic wisdom (the ancient healing system from India) the color blue is linked with the throat chakra—or energy center—and inspires balance in our true self-expression. Hmmmmm. Did you ever think that wearing your bridal “something blue” could support you in being more articulate and eloquent?

If that’s the case, then being a bride is a perfect time for a powerful declaration of clarity: “I freely express my thoughts and feelings. I always communicate clearly and effectively.” With clarity comes a stronger sense of purpose. Where in your wedding planning world to do you need to get clear on exactly what you want? Who do you need to talk to in order to clear up some fuzzy communication?

Slow down and take a deeeeep slow breath, then another...and find your true voice. Honor your word; speak your truth; live your purpose; inspire eloquence. Then as though “out of the blue” you are living the life you love!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jimmy Clemmons]

{Token of Abundance}

2010-03-25T10:57:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
The folkloric "something old, something new" bridal rhyme ends with "...and a sixpence for your shoe." This was a way of calling forth abundant wishes in the couple's married life ahead. If you can’t find an old sixpence coin to use for your wedding, perhaps you can find a penny minted the year you were born or a shiny new one that promises “a gracious plenty.”

Whether you use an old or new coin as a bridal token for your wedding day, remember that it’s only a token. True abundance is a full heart of love...love that you give away unconditionally. And a full heart is one that stays open...ready to receive the love back a hundred times over!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

{Something Borrowed from the Heart}

2010-03-22T10:10:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Women have a long lineage of sharing their precious garments, textiles, and jewelry—as well as things of the heart—with other women to mark a special occasion, especially for weddings. And many times the treasure shared becomes the bride's “something borrowed.”

Sometimes what is offered is more of a symbol, more ephemeral, yet deeply personal and heartfelt. Carol McD. Wallace recounts in her book All Dressed in White: “Each of the women who worked on Princess Elizabeth of England’s wedding gown embroidered a strand of her own hair into the gown, as a way of embodying her good wishes for the princess bride.” There is no limit to how we can share our love.

As you reach out to a future bride to keep the loving connection of beauty and generosity going, your friendship and a hug may be the best “something borrowed” of all!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Courtesy of Getty Images]

{Smile Away the Blues}

2010-03-18T09:13:00.002-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Here's a little more about “having the blues” and the rewards of smiling! There are so many choices to make when planning a wedding—finding the right date, place, dress, invitations, flowers, service, officiant, attendants, favors, etcetera—and sometimes it all flows and sometimes it seems like it's all too overwhelming. Although your upcoming wedding is a happy occasion, you can get the blues from the weight of it all, yes?

The “blues” are heavy, but smiling lightens the heart and lights up the world around you. Take a deep, long inhale and a slow, full exhale and allow a smile to ease across your face. (Here's a secret: If you allow yourself to smile as you breathe in and out slowly, deeply and with grateful pleasure—no matter your circumstances—you will change your world on the spot!)

Smiling away your blues just may get a little grin from others as well. So be generous and give the world a gift—smile! Then keep on smiling...there's so much to be grateful for...yes?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

{Just Smile}

2010-03-15T08:28:00.000-04:00

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Okay, so being a bride is not always full of fun and delight. Planning a wedding can become overwhelming, and you just might “get the blues” sometimes. Here’s a little secret about feeling better in the moment from a wise woman affectionately known to many as Dr. DooLady: “What you do is simply turn up the corners of your mouth as if you were smiling. The mind translates that as being happy—as in, ‘Oh, we’re smiling, I think that means we must be happy!’”

See how fast this little smiling mind trick can lift your spirits until you’re remembering how much you have to appreciate, how much you are loved, how much you really have to smile about!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]